per diem

Goodbye and Hello.

2009-09-06T20:34:00.000-07:00

Goodbye to the end of this chapter.

Goodbye to summer 09.

Goodbye to working at CCM.

Goodbye to my kids (I know there are some of you who still laugh at me when I say my kids... :b laugh all you want, they ARE my kids).

Goodbye to busy days.

Goodbye to this blog.

Hello to a new beginning.

Hello to Fall 09, Year 3.

Hello to 2 days of school.

Hello to WFG.

Hello to a unpredictable future.

Hello to China trip in December.

Hello to my new blog.

I can't believe I lost my ring.

2009-09-04T00:04:00.000-07:00

I didn't even get to take a picture of it. I didn't even have it for a week. I'm so devastaed right now :( I really really miss touching it already. AUghgthhhasldjf;lasdf.

Tuesday started out alright, even though the clouds were hanging a little lower than expected. We went to eat at Bing Xing dim sum (and then went to get some last minute stuff... we're not a really prepared bunch of people) and then heading out to Harrison.

We got there and went to the beach part just to look around ... it's a "big" place. It looks some what like Trout Lake... but the greens are replaced by sand. Then we went to the hot springs. Honestly when I heard about Harrison Hot Springs... I thought it was like outside hot springs! But that's not true--well not for where WE went anyways. It was just a nice swimming pool with hot spring waters. I don't know who I heard it from but I've come to the conclusion that I get sea sick when I swim. It's because I haven't gone swimming in a long time.. and every time I'm in the water above my chest, I can't breath properly...whereas before, I would be fine. It was a nice place--small and cosy. Haha and no youngings. Just us girls. And a few random people. It was mostly seniors. Anyways, we got out and headed back to our cars to decide what to eat. It was THEN that I lost my ring. I was sitting in the car facing outwards and putting cream on. Me wanting to protect my ring from being all creamed up, I took it off and probably put it on my lap. I sat there and listened as the others decided where to go. They thought that it was a better idea to just eat in the area.. so I got up and got my stuff, and left. We had lunch at this cafe place... it was alright. Nothing spectacular. We got in and started heading to Paddy's cabin. An hour or so into the drive I was feeling my ring finger... and realized that I did not have my ring on me! I started freaking out and looking for it. I could not find it. There was a big part of me that wished I had checked my ring more often. There was a big part of me that wish that I helped Ellen get her tumbler so I could've probably seen my ring. There was a big part of me that wish that I hadn't even taken it off. :(

We arrived at the cabin after a lonnnnnnggg drive. It was so small, but super cute! If you've been in my kitchen.. it's like 2/3 of the room with the other 1/3 as the upstairs. Yea, it was tiny. We unloaded and made dinner. We had lasaugna for dinner! Pretty good if you asked me :) Too bad we had so much of it.. that we STILL have leftovers. Too bad the guys didn't join us. After dinner we all just kind of... died. We decided to watch a movie. It was a korean movie ... kind of like love actually. Ugh... this is why I don't watch Korean stuff as often now. I knew it was cheesy back then...but now, it's even more cheesy! I mean there are sad parts... but the cheese is just too much. Blah. After that, two of the girls decided to go sleep...while the rest of us played Uno. I swear they were all picking on me by the end of the night. They were always targeting me to pick up...and ended up picking up 16 cards. At least I got to put a lot of it down... haha unlike other people who got to put one down before the game ended. Anyways, the game ends, and we all go to sleep.

I woke up on Wednesday pretty early... 9ish? I was so sore all over. Maybe it's because of my posture... or maybe it's because of the bedding.. but I just couldn't sleep anymore. I felt so uncomfortable. I got up and decided to go out to spend some time alone. I went out to the dock and it was so nice out! Okay it wasn't really. It was actually quite cold too. But there was like fog/mist floating over the water (which I like to believe it was clouds :b since we drove into one on our way here) and it was really really silent... except some random people talking in the background and some ducks quacking. I got to do some devotions. It's interesting how I felt like God has been telling me to be more like Jesus the past few weeks, and here I read about it again! Clearly signs that I should be acting more like Jesus and less like what I am. It's harder than you think... or well for me anyways. I'm not going to lie. Even though I'm surrounded by Christians sometimes... I don't feel they're like Jesus all the time. Those people are hard to find these days!

I went back inside and we started making breakfast at 10 am. Haha it was too early for some people (considering they wake up at 2pm usually). We ate .... and then prepared lunch... and then ate. Haha it was literally make food, eat, make food, eat. And then we actually took a break. Fiona went tanning and Vicky went for a nap. Haha funny how it's always those two that goes off and does their own thing.. kind of. The rest of us decided to walk around.

Our nature walk turned into some kind of insect/reptile (is that what toads are? HAHA I seriously don't know) hunt. We found Charlie first (the toad) and then like 2 grasshoppers and 2 "clappers" (we actually didn't know the name for them... but Ellie kept calling it that, so it just kind of stuck) and finally we found Billy. They were like our pets for the day! Fiona and Vicky did not approve of our findings... they were in fact, quite disgusted. Haha. Oh well. Charlie was so fun!! He kept climbing and jumping from one my hands to the other. Haha at one point, I started singing spider toad (Simpsons version of spider pig). Finally, our plan of going to town commenced at about 3pm.

Fiona point out something that was so true... many of the stores were called "Princeton ________". Not very creative with their names... or they are just proud to live in Princeton. There wasn't really anything to see... just walked around. We went to DQ (yea, they had a DQ AND booster juice!!) and then headed back home.

Wendy and I started making the dough for the pizza, while the rest just laid around. We finished and decided to take a short nap and woke up to some good smelling cookies. Even though they smelled good, they tasted like cake...ahha not that it's a bad thing... I'm just saying. Good job Fee :) We punched out the dough and started our pizza making. This time.. it ACTUALLY worked. Not like our Galiano fail burnt pizzas. Anddd they were very tasty :) Not to mention... fattening. Oh gosh. We had so much cheese during this trip.. we had cheese EVERY meal. I'm not even exaggerating. Okay maybe for the first breakfast day... but every other meal, we used cheese. We baked our pizza and ate them along side our lasuagna left overs.

After dinner, we started watching this movie called Push. It's about naturally born powers ...kinda like heroes if you asked me. It was actually really good! There were a lot of questions about their powers and whatnot--lots of flaws in the movie. But it was good overall. This was a movie that you'd have to watch twice to actually understand some parts. After the movie, two of the girls went to sleep. Cept one of them was different this time. The four of us girls decided to play Blitz. Haha see fee, you couldn't kick my ass even if you tried :b Just kidding! It was very intense... and got a lot of arm exercise. It was probably the most exercise we did during the camp. After Blitz, we played some Uno and then headed to sleep.

I woke up today to something I haven't heard in a long time--well morning wise anyways. The rain was so loud and the skies were thundering. I thought we were somewhere else for a while. I got up a little later today...around 10:30am. Again it was due to the soreness. I think I should go see a chiropracter. I need some back fixing. Oh wait, actually I think I got up cause I started thinking about ... someone and wanted to go journal. Initially, I wanted to go out and just sit and enjoy the rain but, there was no where for me to sit since it was all wet! So I decided to journal inside. A while later, everyone started to get up, and we made breakfast. We had to finish off most of our food.. so I ended up eating a 3 eggs omlette -.-" With ham AND cheese (see, I told you!) After breakfast, we all kind of lounged for a bit before we started packing up and cleaning everything. I don't know how long we took, but according to Ellie, we cleaned up pretty quickly. We ended the trip by some last rounds of Uno...with EVERYONE. Not as epic as I thought it'd be, but it was still fun!

After Uno, we dumped the garbage and started heading to Harrison...to check for my ring. Obviously it wasn't there and it made me even more emo.

I know this wasn't exactly how our trip was planned in the very beginning ... a lot of stuff had been cut out. But it was still fun nonetheless! I enjoyed everyone's company and got some alone time too. The trip was ... short, sweet, and simple.

I'm going to miss:

-waking up and having our American style breakfast

-cooking and having someone else clean up after me

-our pets

-going to hunt for our pets

-snuggling with Ellie

-doing things together

-making food together

-camwhoring together with our t-rex poses

-watching movies together

-playing games together--especially taboo and using Fiona as all our examples when explaining.

Frankly, I'm going to really miss being in the presence of you guys... (we need a name!)

I'm not going to miss:

-peeing in a hole

-peeing in a hole at night (I think about pretty absurd things)

-sleeping on the mats

-eating a lot

-living on cold water

Frankly, there's not much I don't miss. Hurrah for phone service... while the others suffered in want (ie. feefee).

And now, back to reality.

On the ride back, the Paddy and Ellie had some interesting things to say. After they started going on about how I should get his attention and give him "chances" to talk to me, I told them I don't WANT to like him though. They made me think about why I didn't want to like him when I don't even know him. Honestly, I wonder if I ever knew him. The past felt so much like a dream--just faint memories in the back of my mind, some random scraps of paper, and here on my blog. Who we are now, and the relationship we have now cannot have developed out of the past can it? I've been told to make more of an effort but there are so many excuses. I've said that I already have--as futile as they may have been. I've said that I shouldn't have to make the effort this time around. I've said that I shouldn't because this isn't something I want.

Then again, what DO I want? If it's not what I want, why can't I let go? Is it closure that I need or is it my feelings that I need to straighten out? I thought about telling you why I liked you back then because I realized I never did. But what's the point? I don't see a point. It doesn't explain why I still think about you now. It doesn't explain why I've never really been able to let you go.

I don't know.

...

2009-08-30T01:46:00.000-07:00

1. I am no longer "CCM Summer Kids Day Camp Coordinator". I even took the title off my signature in emails. But I am always that coordinator at heart :)

I love it when I see my kids come to visit ...even after the camp has ended. The one person I actually didn't mind not seeing is somone I really want to see now :( he was such a bad boy... but clinged on me SO hard (literally... every time I'm about to go somewhere... he'd tug on my hand and actually pull on my skin) showing that he just wanted attention like everyone else. It's funny how everyone has their favorite kids.. mostly the kids who are always good (with the exception of Vicky who likes a rebel just like me :) but my favorite kid is someone who hates sitting down listening to my lessons, who just likes to walk around and be in his own world, who hits, kicks, and sacks people because he wants to, stand up on a bus cause I yelled at him. But on top of that, he is someone who can care for other people, he is is loyal, and he LISTENS to me. I know a lot of other kids do that... but the way he listens is so different... like we have a mother son kind of relationship (creepy I know). I can't explain it.

He's made me want to cry a few times... and now thinking about him and not being able to see him again (unless I stalkerly steal his number and call his mom...LOL) mades me really sad too.

2. Half of my book order came in! I've shame~~fully~~lessly bought well over $100 worth of children books this summer. My first big order was $50 and my second order was $40 ... I've spent $20-$30 a few more times. Chapters is a bad place for me to go. Now that I've discovered that free shipping is included with every purchase over $38, I will be spending a lot more than just $20-$30.

This one book called Varmints by Helen Ward (illustrations by Marc Craste) totally caught my eye. My friends said it was so DARK looking and that I would scare the children if I read it to them but...the illustrations were just too awesome! I probably like the illustrations more than the story...although the story is quite good! I even found a short for it! Or well the trailer anyways. I can't wait for the full short :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJQ4RTo6hRg

I've decided that since I love children books so much, I'm going to add it to my wordpress blog... and on top of the savory things like food and travel, there's going to be children books now!
http://savorythings.wordpress.com/2009/08/30/varmints/

3. Yea, this whole praying for you thing isn't working out. I don't even know what to pray for. I just end up thinking about you. It's weird but I always get the urge to talk to you whenever I have encounters with you. But then when I don't get to talk to you ..or haven't talked to you in a while, the urges aren't there anymore.

4. I'm GGed. My sleep pattern is messed. I have to get up early to cook for potluck. >:(

One more day

2009-08-20T23:52:00.000-07:00

until it all comes to an end. The kids are going to be gone... forever. I hope I won't cry tomorrow.

I feel like I've just been doing things after things ... and never really got to chillax. Obviously I've had down time, but I never felt free. I was always doing things. But that's the best part ... I feel so accomplished. Even though I did so much, I felt like I haven't done enough. If stupid school wasn't in the way!! I would've done more probably.. no late night papers.. no studying for exams. I quit summer school! Intersession courses only.

I'm excited for my camping trip with the girls. I'm stoked that I finally get to rest. A retreat is what I need... hehe. Too bad it's only 3 days. Nothing gets done in 3 days :( Now that I think about it... it's not that much of resting... since we're always doing something.

I'm also excited to go China in December :) It's not fo sho ... but 80% is down! And plans to visit Doo, Ronald, meet up with Dave and Edwin are in pencil too! Yay!! I haven't gone travelling in sooooo long. I'm so exctied!

I've changed.

2009-08-16T23:43:00.000-07:00

I know I've changed. I can feel it in me when I do things. My view of things have changed. The way I do things have changed too.

But when someone tells me I've changed... I kind of stop in my tracks. They say that it isn't necessarily a bad thing but... I feel like it is.

Apparently I used to fight for relationships. I would never want it to die. It doesn't matter if I never recieved anything for my giving.. I would just keep giving. I didn't care if it took a lot of time and energy to do something for someone... I'd do it. I'd let them "push me around" and never really question their actions. I did all these because I didn't want to lose them.

Now I have an almost completely different view on things. Maybe it's because I'm tired of the pattern... but I can't keep giving if I never get anything in return. I feel like I could better use this energy in building another relationship. I don't take the time and energy to do something for some people anymore. Well I do... but not to the extent I used to do it. Now, I always question their actions. I wonder what they meant by what they did and if they really meant it. I feel like there are certain relationships that I wouldn't care so much if it didn't continue.

I've been trying to justify my changes for the past little while... but I can't seem to find a suitable answer. Maybe it's just because I'm tired of being taken for granted by some people. I mean don't get me wrong. It's not like I DON"T care about any of the realtionships I have... some mean more to me than others. Maybe it's just because my network of friends have expanded so much and I've connected with people who I, well, really connect with. Moreso than others I mean. Maybe I've realized that some people just don't treasure me as much as I treasure them and it hurts to keep trying. Or maybe it's the fact that I know that there will be a point in life where I can't connect with those people anymore ... and I just let that relationship go.

Looking back on all these changes... I really hate myself. I don't know why I let all those people talk me into these kind of values.. I don't even know who they are! I really wish I had an urgency to build and maintain all the friendships I have. I don't even know my priorities anymore.

I feel like such a bad person.

e letters

2009-08-12T22:47:00.000-07:00

Dear God,

Sorry that I didn't let you in and include you in it. Sorry that I wanted it more than you had intended. Although I'm not even sure what you intend to come out of this whole mishap... Sorry that I was so stubborn. Sorry that I didn't live up to my own expectations. Sorry that I hung on to that thread even after I threw it out to sea.

I'm letting you in now, and I'm giving you control. I can't pretend that I don't, but I'll pray when I do. I pray you'll give me serenity to accept the things I can't change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Give me a unwavering heart and stand by what I say. I'm letting go of all that I can.

Dear you,

I'll say what you said to me, good bye and good luck.

live up to your expectations

2009-08-10T00:16:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to do something that you want me to do if you can't do it yourself.

All of a sudden ...

2009-08-09T01:16:00.000-07:00

I feel :(

Nervous.

2009-08-08T23:08:00.000-07:00

I realized today that it was the 2nd last week till the camp was over.

I'm starting to freak out a little :( I'm going to miss my kids so much. After the camp depression, I'm going to have my own kids camp depression :(

I already miss some of the kids. There were so many who were here for only a short time. Ahhhh! It makes me really want to treasure them for the last two weeks. I wish I could write something little or make something little for each of them :( Although it's a little too late... and it would take too much time. Haha I'd start dying half way through.

I don't want them to go :(

PCDD

2009-08-03T22:21:00.000-07:00

Post Camp DEPRESSION Disorder :(

I don't miss the creepy crawlies. I do'nt miss the mini showers. I don't miss sleeping in a sleeping bag. I don't really miss the food. I miss waking up and seeing people already awake and "waiting" for me :b I miss eating breakfast and making fun of the LBs (or the other way around). I miss going out to chill with the kids outside. I miss playing football with the football crew. I miss eating any kind of meal with the kids :( I miss all the leaders and the time we have to chat. I wish it could've lasted longer... and that I could've spent more time with people. I miss Ronald following me around and making random comments.. or teasing me. In fact, I miss any of the LBs doing that. I miss chilling with the girls--which was scarce!! I'm depressed. I miss those kids!!

sweet sauce

2009-08-03T20:15:00.000-07:00

1. The youth camp was amaaaaaaaazing :) I met some wonderful people... and made some pretty awesome friendships (that I hope and intend to keep :) with tons of awesome memories.

The morning cheers. The addictive cup game. Failing at the gotcha game--even when I knew who my preditor was. Starting to get to know the LBs. LBs start picking on me already. Failure to bring proper shoe=near death experience 50 times. LBs continue to pick on me. Epic stoke house performances-ABCs, how camp Jubliee got it's name, a wonder girls remix, revised version of Romeo and Juliet, and tv shows and youth camp ad. Face palm individual perfs. EPIC game of life--robbing the bank, dying after getting phD, cheating in university, masters and phD tests, paying to get dinner, writing wills, autions (I got sold for 44,500...while 4 bowls of instant noodles were bought for 140,000... or some intense number like that. Self value depreciated x10), everyone dying, lonely people at the grave, bankrupcy. Pen wars which resulted in a lot of battle wounds that will not come off. Heart & soul warming camp fire :) extra extra late night... with cricket encounters x2 (they're not your ordinary ones.. they're HUGEEEE). intense camwhoring (surprisingly...Ronald wanted to take more pictures together than I did...haha!)

2. Two days of classes, WHAT.

Monday: 9:30am-1:30pm

Thursday: 1:30pm - 9:30pm

Long... but that's 3 classes (2 seminars & 1 studio) worth of time.. not to mention my dist ed course. Excellent! Hopefully I'll be able to get a lot more accomplished :)

3. I've gained 2 sai los.

One really really likes me :) it's so funny and so cute. I'm not supposed to tell anyone... cough. And the other one... always hangs around me and makes fun of me. Ahhh :) they're so cool.

4. It's visit Julie month

Carol came. Jon's here. Angela's here. Bonnie's coming. Justin's coming. Peter might come.

The essential course of all art students:

2009-07-31T00:50:00.001-07:00

SA 255 (Social Research Methods).

It has saved my butt on so many occasions, it's not even funny. It especially saved me from using this miscellaneous program called SPSS (which btw, I just found out it stands for Statistical Package for the Social Sciences) for my edu 222 course. I seriously would have failed this course if I hadn't taken sa 255. All my knowledge on how to do research, is all thanks to this course. Haha man, I sound like a sales woman.

Anyways, I just thought I'd let all those wonderful SFU students out there know that if you're in arts and are called to do research of any kind ... take this course. Alyssa, you will learn what operationalization is too :)

It is THE most helpful course thus far.

I'm melting

2009-07-29T00:21:00.000-07:00

T____T It is SO freaken hot. It does NOT feel like it's only 22 degrees. It feels even hotter than this afternoon.

I can't even concentrate on cleaning up stuff for more than 5 minutes... because my room is so stuffy :( Sometimes... it's not so good to live on the side of the house; you don't get wind. I don't get the sunrise.. but I sure do get the mid day sun--the HOTTEST point of the day.

I wish I could take more layers off.... like my SKIN. :( haha but obviously I can't. Buttttt yea. I can't even do my paper right now cause I don't have the stupid spss program! I hate you stats. I don't even know you ... but you're probably worse than math. Computers FTL. Now I'm going to have to pull an all nighter to finish my paper on thursday night. Great. Can't concentrate. Need to run through the waters again and go sleep in my stupid stuffy room. Originally I was going to sleep in the living room.. but my sister took that spot already >___>

maybe I'll find out one day

2009-07-27T23:41:00.000-07:00

that it wasn't you and that you're not that person.

how stupid I was to have thought that.

I need my mando song lovers to hook me up with some songs. I haven't heard anything new in ... half a year. The last one was... kiss goodbye?

I feel like listening to them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuHPklh0a0o&feature=related

It really reminds me of her Japanese songs... but in English. I never knew her English was this good! LOL Vicky, I have a thing for low raspy girl singers too :b

I'm ashamed

2009-07-21T00:18:00.000-07:00

that I still think about you.

No matter how much I try to hate you or think about all your flaws, I can't decide whether or not if I still like you. I probably still like you deep down but I'm not about to do anything to encourage the growth of my feelings. I'm not ready to attempt another one way friendship with you. Not because I feel like I won't get anything out of it... but because I'll probably go crazy thinking too much.

I guess he's right. I need closure. I realized that... I never got closure.

"If you havent seen him for YEARS
Your image of him is probably
very glorified
You've put him high up on a pedastal
And that's one of the reasons why you're thinking about him more
There's no maybe about it
you have no real life defects to defer you any other way
You see him through the eyes of when you were INTERESTED
As for actions to take
I'd say, go see him in real life sometime
talk with him
interact
observe how he interacts with others
and then draw a conclusion
otherwise, you'll probably be in this state of head-over-heels
for a while"

Easier said than done. Times like these, it makes me want to have a close guy friend who I can tell all of this to :( Although I am grateful for inputs from people like you David Li :)

Man, if I wasn't me, I think I'd be crazy to think all of this. Then again, I kind of do think I'm crazy. Luckily it does not consume so much of my thinking time--right now.

random spewl

2009-07-16T23:18:00.000-07:00

-I thought you messaged me... but it was just spam. Again.

-I'm super pooped from the day camp... every day! Even when I'm not working :(

-I am totally KOed when I sleep now

-Disappointed

-Grateful for people who unexpectedly care for me

-going to bawl my eyes when the camp is done--I love my kids

-watched HPHBP, it was a lot better than someone else had said

Augh. I don't even have time to think about having a break... I just gotta keep on doing things. It's like... never ending. I'm going to go crazy soon. But... it's fun :)

decided courses for fall 09

2009-07-13T23:10:00.001-07:00

These are tentaive... but hopefully will be engraved onto the system after registration tomorrow!

1. SA 356W, ethnography and qualitative methods

-dist ed (woot woot! this is my kind of course)

COURSE REQUIREMENTS:

Weekly Online Submissions and Responses		20%
Observation Exercise		5%
Peer Review		5%
Interview Exercise		5%
Research Proposal* (see note below)		15%
Essay on Ethnographic Writing		10%
Final Research Report		30%
Analytic Summary of Your Research Log		10%

2. SA 301, contemporary ethnography

Mondays 9:30-1:20 (as long as there aren't exams, I'm aokay)

Paper one: 25% Paper two: 25% Paper three: 25% Mini assignment and small group work: 25% All the assignments in this course must be completed for a final grade to be assigned.

3. FPA 167 - E100 Visual Art and Culture I

Th 6:30PM - 9:20PM (even though it wasn't part of my original list of wants... it's okay. This is something I need and want!)

4.Eng 101W, introduction to fiction

Surrey Campus

THEY"RE READING THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT!!!!!! I WANT THIS COURSE SO BADLY.

Wednesdays: 2:30-4:30

tut: M-- 9:30-10:30, 10:30-11:30, Th--9:30-10:30, 10:30-11:30, 12:30-1:30, 1:30-2:30

COURSE REQUIREMENTS:

10%	Participation and Attendance
5%	Proposal for Essay #1
10%	First Draft of Essay #1 (750 words)
15%	Second Draft of Essay #1 (750 words)
5%	Proposal for Essay #2
30%	Essay #2 (1500 words)
25%	Final Exam

5. HIST 101 - Canada to Confederation

Tu 8:20PM - 10:20PM

tut: t--11:30-12:30, 12:30-1:30

Evaluation:

Tutorial (participation) 20/100

Mid-term (review of Bienfait) 20/100

Term Paper 40/100

Final Exam 20/100

Hmmm contemplating if I should take 5 courses... Nah. The first 4 will be good enough... with all those papers.. yay!

Oh by the way, I just have to say this... cause I'm in shock and haha slightly proud of myself :b

3 hours before my paper was due, I started my paper. I did NOTHING before that. No reading, no outline, no nothing! And then 2 hours after my paper was due, I submitted it... and ended up getting a 9/10. Hurrah for an awesome TM. One of the best papers :D I'm aiming for a 9.5 for the last one.

pretty much I've been MIA

2009-07-12T00:22:00.000-07:00

I thought once the day camp starts that I would have more time... but NO! I'm so busy still :(

I'll do a REAL blog on the camp... tomorrow. But the highlights have beeeeeeen:

-my awesome volunteers

-dave sin ;)

-oh so wonderful relationships that are starting to blossom ...tehe!

-ryan the cute one

-william the clingy one

-joseph the rebellious one

-fieldtrips that ROCKED (from my pov)

-last day DIDN"T end on a bang (which duh, I wanted it to!)

Mmmmmm I miss sleep. I miss my family. I miss my free time. I miss my organized life. I miss my willpower to do things.

day one

2009-07-06T21:38:00.000-07:00

SURVIVED.

Amazing.

PTL.

Must.. crash... in ... bed... soon.

i feel...

2009-07-06T00:47:00.000-07:00

insignificant today.

physically tired right now.

unprepared for tomorrow.

speechless about you and have given up for the one millionth time.

pressured to do more and be more.

hungry at the moment.

like a good vacation would do me a LOT of good.

they just need some love

2009-07-02T23:44:00.000-07:00

In the end, that's what everyone wants anyways: to be loved.

i try

2009-07-01T23:57:00.000-07:00

(I have a better copy...where I actually write the "i" after "and" and before "choke" ...which I did not take a picture of)

(I think it's supposed to be "and I stumble"... oh well)

(can you read it?)

A tribute to the song that I listend to 50 times on Tuesday. A tribute to the cheap Macy Gray cd I bought to day. And tribute to my stupid self. It's okay.

I'm a big big girl in a big big world. It's not a big big thing if you leave me. (A tribute of some kind will come. Alyssa, I have an idea. You should do it with me :)

I've got a confession...

2009-07-01T23:47:00.001-07:00

I'm ....

attracted to....

Children books.

Haha I'm going to be so broke. I just spent $30 on children books today (they were fairly cheap... compared to the averge price? Which would be like $15? I got them all for $10 anddddd I got one free.. ANDD I have an irewards card now. I'm so using it to the max).

I just love the simplicity of the stories and the carfully through out drawings. :) I love reading them to people too!

I'm kind of stuck in this stage where I'm incomplacent... but I don't know what to do. I feel like I do so much stuff work, go out with people, etcetc. I feel like I don't really spend a lot of time with myself and with God. I guess it's kind of impossible to do right now... since work is not something I can just leave and hanging out with people is part of who I am, I don't really like to turn people down to hang. If I can, I go :b

I just feel so ... drained and kind of stressed that I have so much on my plate. I know at the end of all this I will look back and congratulate myself on the accomplishments... but seeing it through to the end when I'm smack in the middle of everything is hard.

Even if I do have me time... I don't feel like it's enough. I'm still tired. I'm still pooped. And sadly, I'm still stressed. Blaugh. I can't wait till all of this is over!

cross my heart

2009-06-28T21:25:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhvY2mwYXXo

It's even better when the little kids are singing it :) haha they're so cute and pretty darn talented! The thought of being a couger NEVER crossed my mind until someone pointed out that when we were screaming for them, we looked like cougers.

ANYWAYS, that's besides the point.

Stoke house's outturn was awesome! I don't think we've ever opened 3 chapels for a stoke house event... which is great. I love this whole collective talent thing.. it's a much easier approach to get people to come and.. yea. It's awesome. I really enjoyed all of the performances. Especially the film. It was very nicely done. Good job Yat. You looked handsome on the toilet btw.

Goodbye June really reminded me how you really should get to know someone before you go out with them... or maybe even like them. What if you find out that you guys have different tastes and you guys don't really match? Opposites may attract one another... but when it comes to that point where the opposites aren't really attractive, they just repel each other.

I had a heart talk with a friend not too long ago... and I realized that even though we had known each other for so long, we actually didn't know each other that well. There are things she still needs to learn about me, and vice versa.

I also realized how little I know about you. I don't really talk to you anymore... but you're always around. I really don't know wath this means... and I really gotta talk to God about it. I guess I thought it's not that important... so I won't even bother mentioning it. But this is important... and you are important. I don't know why, and I don't really like it... but you are.

naps

2009-06-26T09:41:00.000-07:00

You know how naps usually get you rejuvenated and give you more energy than you did before you went to sleep?

Yea, it usually works for me.

But not this time around. I went to sleep at 5am and got up at 8am, feeling more drained than before. I swear I'm nocturnal... but not. I go to sleep when the sky starts turning lighter and when the birds come out to sing. I technically should've been in bed by 4:30am ... don't ask what I did for the last half hour. You'll think I'm a dork :b

Ugh. I feel so energy drained even though I'm like mentally awake. Well, time to get back to the orientation package!

I'm going to miss you.

2009-06-24T23:41:00.000-07:00

Of all the things I did in the classroom, I really enjoyed reading to my kids the most. I love the comments they make as I show them pictures from the book. I love how they are listening so well and paying so much attention. I love how they love the books I read to them. And importantly, I love how they love having someone read to them. It's a special time for us :)

I'm going to miss all that. There's no more outcries from Cam (one of my favorite brats to pick on), no more lovely comments from Elizabeth, and no more chirps from kids here and there.

I really enjoyed reading with the kids one on one too. It's funny to see how tense some of the kids can be when they're reading to me. Or well, just one kid. Hehe, I think he's adorable. I love how animated they are! Some are even more animated than me! Sad, but so true. They have one wild imagination.

I'm going to miss being able to walk around and just help the kids with what ever they are doing. I'm really going to miss helping them paint. I'm not going to miss helping them with math so much though... ugh. I love giving them that one to one attention!

Lastly, I'm going to miss all the hugs I get from them. Some of them give really good hugs!! It is so much more liberal than CCM is going to be. We could hug for a long time and it would only be seen as endearment not sexual harassment. We could do frontal hugs and it would be seen as a sign of affection and not sexually provoking actions. Ahh! I'm already so sad. I'm deprived of hugs. I need lots. Haha.

Looking back, I'm really going to miss them. They were a wonderful bunch of kids to be around :) Even though some were bratty, I could deal with them... cause I'd bully them back :b And then there were some even more brattier kids.. that I just have to walk away from. And then you get the angels who provide the cloud for you to walk on. *sigh.

I'm going to miss walking in and being greeted by everyone with a smile on their face. Who said that senior homes are depressing places? Who said all the residents there would be sad and mopey? Nuh uh! On the contrary, some can be even more lively than I when I walk in!

I'm going to miss saying hi to all the Chinese people ... to show that someone can speak their langage. I'm going to miss saying hi to the Korean grandma... and that's about all I can do. Oh, and say I'm going. Haha. I already miss the first Korean grandma :(

I'm going to miss going in and playing sports and doing exercise with them. I'm going to miss rubbing the seniors' shoulders and arms. I'm going to miss holding their hands and smiling into their face while waiting for them to respond.

I'm going to miss helping seniors out here and there. Giving them a lift, getting something they can't reach, and helping them to call a nurse.

If I didn't have to make money in this world.. I'd probably spend a lot of my time volunteering with people. Especially with kids and seniors. *sigh. They just make my heart melt :)

say you'll come with me

2009-06-24T00:34:00.000-07:00

http://chowtimes.com/2009/06/01/tenku-bakudanyaki-richmonds-answer-to-vancouvers-japadog/

Because I'm such a keener for trying new foods (okay this isn't new... but yea. And food that isn't appealing doesn't count. I'd never do crickets.)... or some different ways of food, I like to try these things :)

course selection

2009-06-21T20:33:00.000-07:00

So, my enrollement date is July 14th at 10:30am!! Ugh! That's so lame.. cause I'm going to be on a field trip (technically on a bus at that time...) and won't be able to register. It's times like these I wish I had an iphone 3G. Erg.

Anyways, this is my selection. For those SFUers see if you're interested in taking the same thing or if you have courses that are during the same time.. we could have class/break together!! And for BEVERLY NG (if you're reading this) let's take some SA together :) I'm stoked that I found someone who's studying SA as well :D

62 credits, 6 in progress.

SA 301, contemporary ethnography
Mondays 9:30-1:20 (OH DEAR NEPTUNE... 4 hour seminar)

SA 323, symbol, myth, and meaning

Tuesdays and Thursdays: 10:30-12:30

SA 256W, ethnography and qualitative methods

Dist Ed. OR

Mondays 1:30-5:20 @ harbour (I almost forgot that all upper levels are 4 hour seminars. Hopefully they'll be like my previous one... only 3 hours :D)

SA 358W, the philosophy of the social science
Dist Ed.

Eng 101W, introduction to fiction
Dist Ed. OR

Mondays & Wednesdays: 9:30-10:30

tut: M--10:30-11:30, 11:30-12:30, W--8:30-9:30, 10:30-11:30, 11:30-12:30, 12:30-1:30, 1:30-2:30 OR
@ SURREY CAMPUS* Wednesdays: 2:30-4:30
tut: M-- 9:30-10:30, 10:30-11:30, W--4:30-5:30, T--9:30-10:30, 10:30-11:30, 12:30-1:30, 1:30-2:30

Eng 102W, introduction to poetry

Monday & Wednesdays: 2:30-3:30

tut: M--3:30-4:30, W--8:30-9:30, 9:30-10:30, 10:30-11:30, 12:30-1:30, 1:30-2:30, 3:30-4:30

Geo 111, physical geography

Mondays 8:30-10:30

lab:M--10:30-12:30 T-- 8:30-10:30, 2:30-4:30, W--8:30-10:30, 10:30-12:30

I just realized that I have to take some quantitative geo of some kind.... quantitative geo or GIS? Firck. I hate numbers in geo. Oh no! I shall take geo 253, areial photographic interpretation....whenever it's offered.

Geo 327, geography of tourism

Thursdays 10:30-12:30

tut: Th--12:30-2:30, M--8:30-10:30, T-- 10:30-12:30, 12:30-2:30

Geo 386, geograph, health, and health care

Tuesdays 2:30-4:30

tut: W--10:30-12:30, Th--12:30-2:30, 2:30-4:30

Geo 389, nature and society

Tuesdays: 10:30-12:30

tut: T--1:30-3:30. 4:30-6:30, W--12:30-2:30, 4:30-6:30

That is it for now. I don't know what else I need to take.

I'm twenty.

2009-06-20T22:34:00.000-07:00

:( I'm so tired.

My eyes hurt like I need sleep. My body is weak like I need sleep. My mental awareness is low like I need sleep.

Yea, I just need sleep.

Today was the first time in about a week that I came home for dinner and that I've seen my 'rents. WOW. That's a sad thing. Maybe my lack of appetite has to do with lack of home cooked food. Hehe, even though it was a simple dinner (like REALLY simple)--not to mention that it was cold, I really enjoyed it. It's times like these that I remember how good it is to have a home, to come home to a nice homemade dinner.

I had a really nice birthday you guys :)

Thanks so much for celebrating it with me. Even though I couldn't spend time with EVERYONE... I'm grateful for all the 12 am texts, early morning call from half way across the world from a someone special, texts in between, facebook msgs, msn msgs, and even more smiles are the face to face wishes. I know my wish was for people to grace me with their presence ... but just by saying happy birthday, they did it! Although their actual physical presence would've been ten time better, other forms were not too bad.

Ahh I'm really happy that I have all of you guys as friends. I swear, I'll write you all a love letter.... one day. Hehe in the mean time THANKS! I know I'm long winded. Sorry and thanks for putting up with me.

My coworkers surprised me at work with a very pretty cake.

I actually had NO idea they were going to do it! I was oblivious to the max :b Even Kimmy and Kean made the trip to say happy birthday with the cake! Ah :) you guys make me smile. And clarissa came with shaved ice. It was really good! Too bad it had to melt while I cut myself (haha we were doing a lot of paper work and I got a paper cut... and ended up dripping some blood on the envelopes too... sorry!)

Alyssa surprised me with another cake....

rice crispy cake. Ahh it was so good! Even though I think my taste bud is increasing in tasting strength and found it sweet (although it's supposed to go lower as you get older right? I guess I'm pulling a benjamin button :b), it was really scrumptious! Reminds me of the ones Amy made... <3>

And then I got lots and lots of gifts. This is the first time in a LONG time that I've been so excited about getting books! A really interesting psyc book, a interesting Christian book (C.S Lewis :D), and a bunch of children books (two of which I bought myself). Oh not to mention, the heart warming presence of everyone..... ah! Haha okay. I'm going crazy. Enough foolishness.

So, I'm twenty.

I don't feel any different. I still think the same. I still act the same. I think the only thing that has changed is my mentality about my age. I'm not longer a teen. I'm in the twenty (and something as someone said) age club now. It really puts my life in perspective.

I've got a few years to go before I can be a real teacher. I'll work some and then as per every girl's dream, I want to get married at 25-26. Have my first kid by 30. Open my day care in my 30 somethings. Work. Live. And soon, die. Haha okay. I actually haven't thought about anything after opening my day care. OH! Actually... open a seniors home by 40s? Hm. Now half of my life is planned out. I wonder what's going to happen thereafter? Haha I'll figure it out when it comes :)

I feel like I'm going to be at school for much longer than I had originally planned. Gerontology courses aren't offered to undergrads... meaning I'll have to go back and do that... while working as an elementary school teacher. Haha. School overload! That's okay. I'm actually excited to be studying gerontology. This is definitely something I added to my studies recently. I guess you can say that being in a seniors home really impacted me. I realized how much need is out there ... and I realized how much of those needs aren't met. I mean, being in human services really changed my views of seniors. But to have that hands on, real life experience, is so much more different. Ah! I wish there were more people caring for the elderly.

I know I'm still young and have five or so years before my planned wedding ... but I mean there isn't even a potential! Plus, I like relationships that have been established for a long time. You really get to grow together and see how far you both have come. And me being the inside joke, long time joke kind of person, we need to have a long past! Haha not to say it's necessary.. but you know. It'll help us grow that much more :)

Hopefully .. no wait. It has to be a triangle kind of relationship with God. Don't know? Want to know? Ask me. I've always been jealous of couples who can really encourage each other-- in a spiritual sense. Now adays, it's hard to find. Well... from what I see. It's a rare jewel. I need to find that! By the way... I like guys who take more initiative, be more confident, and pursue me.

Oh my daycare. I'm indescribably HAPPAY and EXCITED. I don't know how, when, and where. I know I'm opening it with Paddra Shing (going to attempt to make Ellen invest in our business and open it for us) and calling it "P.J. Day Care". Look out for us in 10ish years to come! Hahaha.

What is that?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNK6h1dfy2o

It totally reminds me of this video that doo showed me about the "what am I puppets" (caution, there is swearing at the end.... But this one is so much better :) It made me tear.

can't decide

2009-06-20T16:16:00.000-07:00

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?

I know you're reading this. Maybe you can tell me.

Except you won't know I'm talking about you.

forget it

2009-06-19T02:20:00.000-07:00

What a stressful day! There was so much to do... ugh. I went crazy calling all my friends and asking them to help out for my day camp... or help me ask around to see if there is anyone who can help out. I got like... no one. I thought I'd get SOMEONE ... but those who said yes are like people who have said yes to be already. Ah man, I'm starting to get worried <:( needa pray hard!!

It smoothed out later on in the day...when I went to hang out at Amy's :) it was my first time there...but it definitely won't be my last. I love it there! Most importantly, I like the people! I met the famous Connie for the first time, and we had a few wonderful conversations -- in my opinion. Hm. I like this girl :) good choice Amy! We also had dinner at her house and.... yea! The chicken was goooood :) hehe...even though it was a little on the salty end for me. I guess I've become more like my momma...and don't really like the sodium in my food.

And then Paddra, Wendy, Jackie and I went to celebrate our 19.364th birthday. Haha I know we're lame..okay fine. I'm lame since I thought of it. But I thought it'd be cool to hang out with my twin and turn 20 with her at the same time :D We went down to English Bay to play with sparklers ............... and had another police encounter. Hahaha! He came up to us and asked us what we were doing because there were people complaining in the neighbourhood that there was fire on the beach. LOL. We told him, and he said he was totally fine with it :b so he left.

And then before I came in, I opened Paddra's gift for me............ NEW BLADES :D :D that means I get to go sea wall all the time now!! I'm super excited. It looks really pretty too. I just hope I'll do okay with them.... ^^

*sigh, it felt so good to be sitting outside and it's quiet all around us. I wish I could stay out there with her longer... but I know she has work tomorrow at like 8:30am, and I still have to write Amy's plane letter. Sooo, not smart to stay out late!

Happy birthday Christopher Tse, my other twin :)

Imagine a Time

2009-06-17T18:53:00.000-07:00

Inspired by reading this to the kids today, I decided to do something of my own.

Imagine a time when you walk out into the world feeling confident,
like nothing could bring you down or make you frown.
Even every step forward feels like a mountain climbed.

Imagine a time when you feel so happy,
that all you could do is wear smiles on your face all day long,
and touch the lives of those around you.

Imagine a time when you feel so at peace,
that you walk around on a imaginary cloud of air,
with arms outstretched and eyes closed facing the sky.

to be continued...

This would be nothing compared to the real thing but... I'm going to make this into a book one day. It'll be another addition to my bucket list :) I'll like draw metaphorical pictures and whatnot.

Christopher Tse, I was going to write more and dedicated to you cause I didn't know what to say to your post... but since I'm only half done, I'll half dedicate it to you.

added and crossed off :)

2009-06-17T00:23:00.000-07:00

So I decided to add something to my bucket list today....and crossed it off right after.

~~63. Ride on a motor cycle.~~

:D It was so much fun! I was hesitant on going on...even when almost all the other girls had gone on (there was only one guy...and he didn't want to go on for obvious reasons). Finally..... I decided to go on.

I realize, you don't actually hug the person...you push yourself up against an area. It's actually a lot of work... well in my opinion. Your arms get really sore after a while. It was fun :) It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. It was fun... other than I had to keep moving my head around so my head wouldn't hit Jackie's helmet. Haha I felt bad for him...he had to drive like 5 people around. And by the end of it... he was all sweaty and tired. Hehe. Oh well, he said he didn't mind :b

Oh, and Jae Min finally did go on...after a lot of convincing. Haha it was bad... I have an amazing blackmailing picture. I don't know WHY he got in that position...but he did. I won't post it here... just to save him face. I'll put mine up....when I upload it.

Just before our bbq, we were sitting around talking...waiting for Paddra to bring the bbq, we see this car pull up. We all stared at the car and Fiona asked me "Is that your friend?". I didn't recognize them (there was someone in the passenger side) so I was like "Uh. NO." Then the passenger window rolls down and someone yells "JULIE!" .... Oh. So apparently I DID know them (or well, the driver anyways). Haha :b it was Mendel. Oops, my bad!

And then when the bbq arrived, it took us about an HOUR to start it... haha no one knew how to start a charcol bbq...GG.

I'm so tired, I can't even think straight. But I was excited to talk about my experience! So I thought I'd blog it while I can.

days like this

2009-06-13T19:50:00.000-07:00

Days like this make me smile :)

Nice,

simple,

and beautiful.

Even though I had to run on five hours of sleep, drink some horrible things to keep me awake, and eat a crappy lunch... I enjoyed today.

I had to go attack people with day camp flyers at the food court today. I used to despise it and would run away when Allen told me to do it. Maybe it's because I'm more confident with speaking to strangers and approaching them ... that even though I didn't WANT to do it, I was okay with it. For the most part, people were really accepting and was happy that their kid got some free sugar. I did encounter this one rude person... who was walking away as I was talking. After I said a few words... I had to turn around and cry at Alyssa. And then there were two little kids who rejected my free candy... with the whole hand thing (youtube reference! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cq_7RTrJgQ). It was so funny but so sad at the same time. Oh well :)

Then I spent some time on the phone with Andrew. Even though we didn't talk a lot... it was nice to just have someone there on the other line. I haven't talked to people on the phone lately ... okay that's a lie. But I mean ... talk on the phone for no reason in particular. Even though I was struggling to always find things to say to him... I didn't really try that hard cause I like the comfortable silence :b

I walked home in the most perfect weather. It was sunny, not too hot, and very breezy :)

I wish I chose to walk home instead of take the bus.

I came home and biked for 15 minutes. That was so much harder than I thought! I really need to do some regular exercise. I hate the sick feeling I get in my stomach after exercise--even light exercise.

The day ended with a nice half an hour nap on the couch. Although I was sleeping in the most awkward position, there was a nice breeze blowing my way.

I wanted to end this blog on a good note.

But I couldn't think of anything good.

So I'll throw a few pictures. I really need to go out and take some nice pictures. I miss it.

smoothie with colourful pearls :)

I love the smell of honeysuckle!! And it's such a pretty flower :)

@ seawall across from granville island. Vancouver makes me smile :)

because I can't concentrate

2009-06-13T04:02:00.000-07:00

I know I write a lot of anonymous kind of posts-where I'm addressing someone, but I'm addressing no one... but what if I wrote one that the person I'm addressing could guess that it was them... but not really? ~~Wait,~~

~~that's the same thing.~~

~~Oh whatever.~~

I've wondered, what it would be like if I didn't meet you? I wouldn't have spent so much time on you. I wouldn't have tried to figure out who you were. I wouldn't have embarrassed myself when I did try to find out who you were. I wouldn't have embarrassed myself trying to preserve our conversations. I've wondered, what it would be like if I didn't spend so much time with you? I wouldn't have lost so many hours of sleep ... just because of something so stupid. I wouldn't have been awkward around you when I did see you. I've wondered, what it would be like if we didn't have inside sayings/jokes? I wouldn't have tried so hard to be right and win. I wouldn't have make up such acronyms. I wouldn't have made up such absurd words.

I figured it out. I'm pretty smart you know :) I wonder if those words that you took from me and turned it around meant anything. I wonder what would've happen if I did tell you. I wonder how you would feel if you were in my shoes. I wonder if there is such things as a right time. I wonder if you're one of those people.

I wonder if you know I'm talking to you. I wonder if you know that even if I have these kinds of thoughts, I'd never regret our frienship. (Then again, I don't really regret any kind of relationship... I learn so much from the ones that I treasure the most even if I don't treasure them later on) I wonder if you know that even though I haven't been trying to be your friend and talk to you(as much) for the past few years ... or so, you still exist in my life. I wonder if you know that no matter who we are with and who we become, you'll always have a spot in my life. You'll be there because laughter makes my heart smile.

~~Ugh. I wonder what it would be like if I didn't care so much. I wouldn't be here blogging about this. I wouldn't have to think so much. I wouldn't have to blog this so I can get on with my paper.~~

~~I'm actually going to do what I wanted to do ... but stopped because of something irrational.~~

I fail at being intentionally mean.

glad we did

2009-06-13T04:00:00.000-07:00

Even though I am super tired... mentally, physically, and not to mention emotionally tired... I'm glad we talked.

It made me realize that we have different value systems...or well, for friends anyways. I can't help if I have a lot of important people... at least you understand that. Thanks.

bucket list addition

2009-06-11T22:28:00.000-07:00

Before I forget!

1. watch lion king with kimmy and kean (everyone hates me cause I haven't watched it :() & grease
2. travel to korea (in 2011 ellen!!) and do all the korean things they do in kdramas and movies
3. travel to other parts of asia; japan, taiwan, hk, china, thailand, malaysia, singapore, vietnam, philippines ... and the list goes on
~~4. drink latte with latte art~~
Go to new york and find this guy and order a drink from him http://www.vancouvercoffee.ca/archives/2006/11/sammy-lin-coffee-art.html
5. handmake something amazing
6. write my turtles and send them to sea
7. visit my friends that don't live in canada & visit my family who don't live in vancouver
8. see a broadway show in new york
9. take my family on a all expenses paid vacation
10. climb a mountain to do devotions
11. travel on my own
12. go backpacking
13. go to africa and do mission work
14. meet one of my korean lovers :)
15. fly in a hot air balloon
16. go to all the places i studied in arch 100 (now I gotta go and find that list)
17. mend those broken friendships and say sorry one last time
18. learn how to ballroom dance
19. give my most treasured clothing to someone who needs it more (that actually benefits them)
20. go tent camping
21. go to a dressup party (so I can wear my elizabethan costume again)
22. learn how to say "hello" in 50 different languages, 5 down (canto and mando is seperate :)
~~23. ride in a cop car~~
24. visit the wonders of the world (at least one...)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_Wonders_of_the_World
25. bike somewhere out of bc (:O or rollerblade??)
26. travel to the all the provinces and territories of canada
27. read all the books on my list to reads (gotta create one first!)
28. make a music video with clarissa and alyssa
29. learn basic car maintenance
30. learn to cook well (and memorize recipes)
31. plan someone else's wedding
32. make wine/brew beer
33. see 10 animals i've never seen in real life before
34. milk a cow
35. own a cottage
36. celebrate christmas in summer weather
37. spend a day doing things by myself: shop, travel, watch the sunrise by the waters
38. drive on the opposite side of the road (gotta get my license first :()
39. read the encyclopedia from cover to cover
40. read the bible from cover to cover
41. write my name in wet cement
42. do a photograph everything you do/see day
43. run across a bridge
44. record a song in a studio
45. free hugs campaign with allen & ed
46. para sailing
47. ride in a car that's more expensive than my house
48. visit every continent
49. scuba dive in the great barrier reef
50. build a boat and learn to sail
51. go to the olympics
52. participate in japanese tea ceremony
53. eat curry in india
54. walk the great wall of china
55. spend a weekend away from everything with only books to read
56. build a champagne tower with alvin
57. see an orca in the wild
58. movie marathon all the disney classics
59. have fine tea in china & have tea and biscuits in england
60. find someone that would play with food (as in: http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v134/95/88/504793034/n504793034_278456_1305.jpg) to make stuff with me...and who would cook all day with me too :)

~~61. travel on my own to somewhere not close to home~~

62. go on air on a radio show

so busy

2009-06-09T23:29:00.000-07:00

No time to think ... augh! No time to worry... just do it.

8 page paper (which I have no idea what it's about and just found out it's 8 pages), here I come.

2 midterms (which I have not read a single page for.. okay that's a lie. I've read some pages..but not in prep for the midterm!), here I come.

I need to do some intense overnight at sfu on Saturday. Anyone care to join?

Tonight is going to be a late night... writing the minutes for the youth camp, making a to do list for myself (should really write what I need to do when I remember it in my agenda!), reading the article and making notes.

I think I'm doing something on Thursday.. but I can't remember. Oh crap. I really need to use my agenda.

dejavu

2009-06-09T17:37:00.000-07:00

you're doing what I did ...

cept, I can't believe it... it's like a dream.

Why are you doing what you're doing?

Maybe you aren't.

So what if you are?

It doesn't matter ....

I don't think so...

I'm going crazy.

(This isn't a bad post... and no, it does not refer to anyone I communicate with regularly... or recently. That includes you fiona li. No toes are stepped on :)

disappointed

2009-06-08T00:13:00.000-07:00

that you didn't notice. If you did, shame on you for not saying anything.

#23 bucketlist crossed off.

2009-06-07T23:08:00.000-07:00

I got arrested...

but not really.

So the story is quite long and boring at the beginning... and no on really wants to hear about it :(

But if you do, here are the links :) It's a video postcard for a friend who is away in HK ... and she is quite lonely.. so I thought we'd make a video postcard for her so she won't feel so left out! It's not that exciting... but you get to see Iona beach (aka poo line).

part i: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zaj2OGphzrE
part ii: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S98cMtWMI1g&NR=1
part ii: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj25g97-hww&feature=related

(I'm debating whether or not I want to keep up with my food and travel blog.. haha I'm so lazy)

Most of you probably don't know what a jetty is (cause I had no idea until my friend told me.. and he told me we had one here in Vancouver! Technically Richmond... but you know, it's all the same.) In Jath's words, it's a man made island ... thing. In wikipedia's words, it's this .

It's 4km long (8km if you walked to the end and back). Paddy and I walked to the end and almost all the way back. We walked 6.5km. How is that possible? Well, that's where the story begins!

We were walking back towards the enterance and from a distance, we see this one big blinding light. As we kept walking, it kept shining. After a while, I suggested that it may be a lighthouse or some kind of lamp post to warn people in the waters ... but we settled on the lamp post idea (she thought I was crazy for thinking it might've been a light house). We had passed the 2km mark, when we noticed that the light was bobbing. I questioned if it was a headlight of some kind... like maybe a really big truck with only one headlight--and that's when it dawned on me. It WAS a car. I realized that the park was closed at 9pm and there we were still on the jetty at 10pm. The park hours had totally slipped our minds! It means we were really enjoying our walk :)

We concluded it must have been a security guard going around to check if there was anyone left. The car finally got to us, but we kept on walking. What if it wasn't a security guard and it was just a stranger? It would be awkward (at no time during the walk did we think it was scary to be alone and walking in the dark). Someone comes out and we realized it was a cop. "Ladies, did you know that the park closes at 9? Do you know what time it is NOW? It's already 10:30. The security guard has been waiting outside for you for a long time..." and he continued with his pep talk. He finished with "Get back to your car as fast as you can." And drove off. For lack of a diagram, I will attempt to explain the landscape. We were about 6-8ft above the road the car was driving on. The road was narrow and you could only go one way. So obviously he had to keep driving forward ... unless he wanted to back up for 1.5kms. Great explaination, I know. Haha sorry! You'll see ... later. I hope.

So, we kept walking towards the entrance. A little while later, we see the light heading back towards us and I had to make a comment. "Man, why didn't he give us a ride? It would've been so much faster". Right when I said that, the car stopped and he got out again. "Ladies, you better get in, the guard is waiting for you." From where we were standing.. we had to climb down. He did not offer to help us, nor words of caution (ie. be careful). Lame! We got in and he started driving.

I wanted to take a picture... but it was way too dark. I tried photoshopping it... it does nothing! Oh well. I have a mental picture of it in my head. I couldn't actually remember everything about the car... hardly anything actually. All I remember was there was this bright screen in the middle... and we were barred behind a plastic window.

#23 on bucketlist: ~~ride in a cop car~~. DONE.

because I have a writer's block

2009-06-04T01:13:00.000-07:00

... trying to write my outline. Yes, a writer's block for an outline. Or you know, just not in the mood to read/write about socioeconomic status and academic achievement. So for a change, I thought I'd give blogging whirl.

I've looked back on previous posts, and I am not proud of some of them. There were things I wish I didn't write. There were things I wish I could've written. When I'm writing the post, and blogging it, I feel gung ho about it. I could not give a rat's behind what anyone else though. This was my blog, my thoughts, and my words. But it's not about that right now. I don't like what I'm writing.

I feel like I've gone through a roller coaster of blogging styles-none I can really call my own, and I still am going through many more different styles.

I write so different from time to time, I feel like I have ADHD or something.

You never know how much your presence could mean to someone. Your presence could brighten up their day; bring them great joy and comfort. Your presences could brighten up their life; bringing them peace and soothing their cracks in life.

I learnt the importance of my presence today.

Time and time again, I would feel insignificant. I would feel like no one is really my friend and that no one really understands or cares about me. Even though I would be quickly reminded that I have God and that I do have friends who care and love me, I keep falling back into this hole. I feel like I'm being suffocated by insecurities of people leaving me, of people ignoring me, and of people hating me. Maybe this is just a disease I have ... and it won't ever be cured. Maybe I'm just going crazy, and overanalyzing things.

I made a grandma cry today.

As I walked over to prep the walkers outside of the dinning hall, I notice Bridgit sitting there looking very sad. I dropped off the walkers and went back to greet her. As I walked towards her, she noticed me and began to brighten up. She stretched out her hand to welcome me, and I accepted it with my own. I smile at her and ask how she's doing (even though she speaks no English at all... and I had no idea what language she spoke). She just stares at me while I smile at her. She takes both her hands and cups either side of my face and slowly begins to pull my head towards her. I thought she was going to kiss me on the cheeck, but it seemed like she was going to kiss me on the lips, so I pulled away. When I did, she looked worried and shook her head. "No?" I think she said. I gave a weary smile and just stroked her arm. We continue to hold hands for another minute or so. When I looked at her, I realized that tears were beginning to seep out and wet her face. I was so moved. I began to wipe her tears away and continue smiling at her.

This scene ended with my "boss" coming out, and I had to follow her to go for walks. Of course, after taking Bridgit for a walk as well.

They all hugged me today.

Okay, I wished they did... but a good majority of them did :) Even some of the kids who I wasn't close to! I was so busy hugging, I forgot who I had hugged.

I walked into the classroom, looking out for the teacher. I hear kids from different parts of the room yell "Julie!" one after another. I can't help but break into a big smile :) I wave and walk over to the closest table ... but only to be swept away with pleads of open arms. I hugged one, and then another, and then another... and it went on. The teacher noticed that I was there and commented, "See, they love you already!". In my head I thought, "Yea, it only took a few months...."

It brings me so much joy just being in the classroom. I love how I can talk with the girls and joke around with the guys (it's not that easy.. sometimes they look at me with a blank face like I'm from Mars or something). Even though one kid (one BAD one) has the ability to wrinkle my happiness, the combined cheeriness from the group makes up for it.

You may forget just how important you are toady, but tomorrow's another day. Welcome it with open arms. Love and be loved.

I wish

2009-05-27T00:15:00.000-07:00

that I had a lover.

I wish that there was someone I could be with and love and have them love me back. I wish I had someone to smile at without any reason at all.

Eh. Then again, I don't actually really care that much for someone to be with. I don't have enough time to devote myself. I'm probably thinking about this cause I had a super weird dream. Never in a million years would I have thought domestic violence was okay ... but in that dream, I stood in the shoes of those women and understood. Weird. I know.

Man, I need to find some more mellow friends to hang with. Those who would be okay to walk with me for miles without exchanging more than a few words to each other. I love the feeling of being solitude, but not exactly. I love the feeling of being alone, but not completely. I have two on my finger count so far. I need more.

post 101

2009-05-24T23:00:00.000-07:00

Wow! I just realized I wasted my 100th post on advertisment... that's super.

The long hours my summer life has started to take effect (it officially went into full swing last week). I'm sleeping way less, and doing way more. In a sense, I work hard and play hard.

Days used to go by and I would have a hard time remembering what I did. Not because I was so busy, but because everything was meaningless in a way (or not enough meaning/significance attached. Although, I'm sure I can think of many things that can totally counter this point. Where am I even going with this? I have no idea). Now, it's a little big easier for me to remember what I did... only if I remember how the day began. It kind of just rolls along with the beginning event...haha. But at the same time... I can't remember what I did because everything is kind of clumped together.

I'm kind of sad and pathetic eh.

After hearing the Asia experience from a few friends, I really am looking forward to my trip in '11. One thing I'm really looking forward to is shopping. Shopping for everything! For clothes, for materials, for souvenirs... I'm just so excited. And just as important... meeting people and experiencing the past. I'm itching to go somewhere far away and just... take a vacation. Not just a do-nothing type of vacation... but one where I can engage in my hobbies and theraputic activities. Haha, I'm dreaming too much.

Anyways. I need to make this 101 post special... somehow. What's valuable to people these days anyways? Most importantly... what's valuable to my readers? Haha I mean, you guys are the only one who reads this ... and so this would obviously be dedicated to you :)

Oh forget it. It's just post 101. Haha what does it even matter. If you read this though, request something from me and maybe I'll give/do it for you :)

1. MJ till 3am at micky dees. Being asian, and chinese especially, it's only right if I learnt how to play it right? Right. Now, I'm addicted (or well, I just really like to play :b)
2. Travel stories until 3 am (apparently, I have this trend of hanging out with people and doing stuff till 3 am) makes me want to visit China really bad. Even with some horror stories (squatting toilets & fist size beetles), I feel like that's my heritage and culture, I need some educating!

3. Learnt to never make food an hour before event and always to include travel and clean up time. I have also learnt that life would be amazing with a spare phone battery.
4. Always ALWAYS bring food with me (snack shopping anyone?)

5. Laughing at the way people laugh ... and waking up other people. Because, we are a silly bunch who listen to silly songs by Larry.

6. 5:18am (probably 5:30am to be more precise) sunrise. A note to self: don't just bring a spare camera battery, bring a CHARGED spare camera battery.

7. Work on a more convincing tone when talking to people.

CCM Summer Day Camp

2009-05-22T12:11:00.001-07:00

Hard core advertising.... on blogs now! Woot.

Haha this took me so long to make. Take a gander if you can :)

http://burnabyccmsummerdaycamp.wordpress.com/
http://richmondccmsummerdaycamp.wordpress.com/

mental vomitting

2009-05-20T23:06:00.000-07:00

I just think that this will help clear my head. I was originally going to do this to clear my head so that I can concentrate on my paper instead... but I'm far too tired right now. I'm lacking so much sleep :( and I have a meeting at 930am. So GG.

Today was such a busy day for me. Even though I didn't do much, it was packed and those activities lasted so long. And all the while, it gave me so much to think about.

I walked in to SMC today and was greeted by a disgruntled lady in a wheelchair. I smiled and cheerily ask "Hello, how are you doing?" but was greeted by "Oh no... not good. It hurts ... " I found out that she needed to go to the washroom and a few seconds later, I began to smell that she needed to go. "Here, I'll wheel you over to the nurse's station." When I got there, the kind of attention that she/I got was quite... disappointing. The lady just told me to wheel her down the hall and that someone will take care of her, while a older and much more polite gentleman offered to do it for me. However, the lady INSISTED that I do it myself (I wasn't even there to help her! I was supposed to be doing something else)... and so I did.

As I left her and went my way to my designated volunteer area, there were so many thoughts in my mind. I started to feel hurt and a little let down by the state of that grandma in the wheelchair. I would have thought that being in a seniors home, you'd be taken care of. But that's not exactly the case is it? I remember the week before... I was talking to a Chinese grandma that I always visit (cause I don't see her when I volunteer) and she was telling me about how she gets bullied. I could not believe it. You get BULLIED even at that age and in such a place? It totally hurt me. I felt like ... they couldn't defend themselves, and they were paying to not get defended.

And then I thought about what it was going to be like for me. I know for sure that I am going to have arthritis (common, if you know me, I crack my joints a lot... I just can't help it), and it scares me! I know that I will be in a similar state... maybe even to the state where I can't even wipe my own butt because it'll hurt too much. I'm not afraid to grow old because I won't look good or I can't do exciting things... I'm afraid because I'm afraid to be left behind. I'm afraid to be defenseless. I've always been the independent one and hated asking for favors. I can't even start to imagine how I'm going to feel when I can't even do a simple thing as to wipe my own ass.

Ugh. I can't vomit anymore. I have no energy. Haha... isn't that sad.

I will say that I had an excellent time with the kids today. *sigh. I'm really sad that I can't be in there everyday ...or more often than now. I totally felt like I connected so well with the kids that one/two weeks I went in every other day! But at least the kids still welcome me with big hugs :) okay maybe only a few... the others just like to be funny (and I'm funny right along side them :b). I actually got to spend one on one time with them today! They read me some things and I wrote down how they were reading. One of the more "teachery" things I've done... says my teacher. Hehe.

And after school, I went to play back catcher for a few minutes with the coolest guy in the class and this other... not as cool, but funny guy from the class. No, I'm serious. He's so cool. He doesn't talk a lot, but he's very into playing things. He's really into sports (like all guys are), into ... I forget whatever else... but he's so cool! Haha. Honestly, if I was ermmm however old they are.. grade 3, I think I'd like him a lot. Haha--and no. I'm not a pedofile. I just think he's cool ... so.. oh never mind. What's the use. No one will understand unless they have a passion for kids too. You're just jealous!!!

This is where my mental vomit device comes in. There's things I want to say, but I can't. I can only think it, and feel it. And what I think and feel isn't even right sometimes! I just want to unplug.

Don't look down on me.

2009-05-16T20:30:00.000-07:00

Even though I know it's true... and I took the job knowing full well that I will be SUPER tired during the day camp, I want to prove you wrong.

I want to prove to you that I can do it.

And if I can't... I can say at least I tried. I know I'll have the strength... somehow. I'll find it in my coworkers. I'll find it in the kids. I'll find it in the camp activities itself. I'll find strength in God. So don't tell me that I'm going to be stressed if you know I haven't been through that experience. Don't tell me that I'm going to be tired because everyone in the past has been tired. Maybe I'll be different and I'll survive. If I don't make it, then you can say I told you so. But until then, I'm going to work hard to prove it to you that I will be okay. So don't look down on me.

(Haha maybe it's cause I'm listening to hillsong kids, but I wrote that with a very light and happy heart... even though it sounds angry. Interesting how much influence music has on your feelings. For example, the sappy love songs in romance movies and the bone chilling songs in horror films)

It's different to be working with people who you know. I'm sure they must have expected me to be a certain way ... maybe I have, maybe I haven't. I know that I started working with a mentality that I wil do things my way (not that they did things the opposite way, just a little different). I wanted to be hard working and be dilligent. I learnt that I need to sit back a bit and just... chill. We're only into the first week and we have so much down on paper/computer! I'm so happy with what we have done. We've got the basic lessons all planned out. We've got the schedule pretty much packed down. We've got pages of games listed out and have started to work on our list of crafts. We've got so much done... it's pretty cool!
I guess the advantage of working with people you know and are comfortable around has really taken flight. :)

I'm really excited about scrapbooking. I was skeptical when I introduced the idea. I obviously want to sneak in whatever creative things I like to do into the camp... :b but I wasn't sure if it was doable...especially with kids. But after working with Alyssa and Willie on the idea, I think we pretty much got it down packed and know how we're going to deal with it. I wonder if I'll have time to scrapbook with them... hm. That would be so much fun!!! Now, I want to allocate more than just 30 minutes for them to work on it. I mean common, you can't do much in 30 minutes. But, we'll see how it goes.

I'm also excited about how we're going to be so organized. We have all our thoughts and ideas down on paper/computer. And we've thought pretty far into the future in that we are going to prepare a leader package weekly for the leaders. The package will be essential things they need to know and resources to help them out in times of need. Of course, the three of us will be there to give them guidance but what's the use of the group leader title if you don't actually do any other than hold the title?

Haha man, I can't wait till I start my own daycare. It's going to be so much fun. It'll be even better cause I get to set the budget this time around. And, I get to do so much more. I'm actually going to be IN CONTROL.

One week down, fourteen more to go.

Still connected.

2009-05-16T13:21:00.000-07:00

No matter where we go and how we move on in life, we are still connected to those special people.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xy8jdBSwAto

It's like we're soul mates. It doesn't matter if we don't talk anymore. Someone will probably mention your name. Or I'll have a dream about you. Or I'll come across something and it'll remind me of you.
It doesn't matter if we live half way across the world from each other. We have the internet, we have the phone, and we have our hands (to write letters). I can fly to you on a jet plane and we can spend the day together.
It doesn't even matter if you are dead. As long as we have memories to keep, you'll always be alive, and you'll always be around.

If you have someone special in mind, they'll always exist no matter what. We'll always be connected and we'll think about them every now and then.

it's been a while...

2009-05-11T22:32:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I had such a satisfying day (minus how badly it ended just now...).

I was actually WORKING. Day one as a day camp coordinator wasn't too bad. Had a lot of fun figuring out what fieldtrips..when... calling them... ! It was good. I guess I don't mind the paper work. I think I secretly love paper work cause it makes me feel important and organized...haha. I also interviewed one of my assistant coordinators... it was interesting. I never thought that I would be interviewing someone I knew ...but didn't.

I came home a little late to watch the game. The first period had already started.. we were tied at 1-1. The time I spent watching the game after I came home till it ended... was so good. Okay, not that good. But it was exciting and intense. We'd be up one minute, and tied the next. We'd scored a fantasy goal... only to be tied again. And then finally losing two more... to end the game. It was a sad game... but it was a good one to watch.

Yet another cossroad.

2009-05-10T00:38:00.000-07:00

In life, we come across so many crossroads. Some people like to call it milestones or stages ... you know, that sort of thing. Sure. There are those... and there are the transitions.

There are the times when you realize that some things will never change and they will always remain the same. You'll realize that there are people you'll always care about--whether you want to or not. There are also times when people leave you. First they leave you physically, and then emotionally (works the other way too I guess). You thought you'd be friends forever ... but you couldn't even stay in touch with them. Then the worst times are when you realize that people wo are there for you, aren't really there for you. They're there for someone else. They've come to a crossroad in their life ... and is moving over. You realize that your tracks are not converging anymore, they're only parallel. And it'll only be a while longer till it becomes divergent of each other.

I've crossed yet another cross road. I'm not going to lie, I'm going to be sad. I'm going to think too much and inflict insomnia on myself (because I think so much). I'll lie there and think of you till it hurts (air supply reference). Maybe I'll even shed a few tears. Or maybe not. Maybe I won't cry, and I won't hurt. Maybe I'll feel indifferent to the crossing over. Maybe I won't even notice till our tracks have gone totally opposite directions.

I'm not going to lie, I don't want to talk about it. It's not that I want to hide this and keep the thoughts to myself (okay maybe I do) but I don't see a point in sharing. The problems will still reside. Maybe because it's inevitable...or maybe because I don't want to fix it. Anyhow, I'm human. My encounters are not always joyous.

Dear you,
I wonder if and when things will change. I remember the days when we were so happy in each other's presence. And now all I have is a memory.

Dear you,
I secretly think you're really cool. You've put up with me a lot. I was totally wrong about us. Well in a way I was right... but that's because it changed for the better.

Dear you,
I know I was special to you...or I hope I was. I just wish there was some way of knowing I'll always be special to you (if I was. If not, I'm embarassed!)

Dear you,
I kind of miss you. I miss the days when we used to talk. It's sad to see we're growing up eh? Sometimes, I wish there was more than one me... so I could build lasting relationships with everyone.

Dear you,
Did you know that I really look up to you? I love how creative you are... and wish I was just like you.

Dear you,
I avoided talking about you because I don't want to. I wonder if you know I've been talking about you. If you know, I want to know. If you don't know, I want to know why.

Dear you,
If you expect something from me, do it yourself too. I foresee a future full of pretend with you.

Dear you,
I wish we could turn back time and we'd bring the present into the past.

Dear you,
Someone just mentioned you and I can't help but frown at the presence of you in all of their lives, and not mine. I can't help but wonder what would things be like if I never opened my mouth.

Dear you,
I thought about you today. I had that one memory of us ... where I was so scared to talk to you. Heck, I was even sacred to be in your presence! Not knowing what was wrong scared me. But not knowing now, and not being in your presence now... saddens me.

You'll never find out which one is you .. or if you are even in there cause I won't say. And I'm not angry at people.... that's just my emo side coming out a little strong.

Not a happy ending.

2009-05-07T23:39:00.000-07:00

Two O' clock in the morning and nothing's on my mind

Can't get no rest, keep tossing around

And again at 4ish, 6ish, 7ish. I totally gave up on the idea of going in to volunteer at 9 since I didn't feel like I slept at all. So I went in at 1 instead :) and ended up not doing too much... but playing stella stella ohla with the kids. And ... learnt their version of it. Baloney, cheese and macaroni? Interesting kids. There's this kid... he's so interesting. He keeps staring at me. Not the looking and then looking away if I look at him... but a stare... almost a staredown... but not a staredown.

The whole day I felt so tired and wanted to sleep. I took a short "nap from 4-445... but I was half awake the whole time. What a drag! And I still feel sleepy...but gotta work on them minutes :\ why did I volunteer to take minutes? Haha.

Elive

2009-05-07T17:44:00.000-07:00

I wonder who else knows what this is....

But weird. Going to class online... and we're actually listening to the prof talk O_O Like skype... but so much cooler! Haha

The New European Language.

2009-05-06T10:58:00.000-07:00

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

(Curtesy of Eileen Shum)

Shortly

2009-05-04T21:59:00.000-07:00

To the doctors, nurses, and whatnots of VGH, shortly means 20 minutes to 45 minutes and finally to about an hour or so.

Sure, I got ample time to read harry potter while I was there ... but I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. Trust me, it was not because the book was so good. It was because I was so tired to waiting. I was so tired of sitting and felt like I was trapped in that place.

Who knew that after I left the school, my day would end up like this.

i have a lover

2009-05-04T15:28:00.000-07:00

As posted by hyuksu @ soompi.

Such a lovely song :) and wonderful covers.

Wow, it's crazy how couped up I've been for the past little while. I did go out from time to time to hang with various people and whatnots. But mostly I've been at home, cleaning, organizing, and painting. I think that it's doing me a lot of good. It's amazing how I can get so lost in looking and reading through all of the stuff I've kept over the years. There's tons of "useless crap", aka momentos from anything I found significant at one point in time, everywhere! Stuffed in boxes under my bed, in every drawer of my table and just strewn all over my bookshelf.
Some of these actually catch my attention so much I take the time to reflect and really examine the peice. That's when I fly back to that specific time and remember how it was like. They weren't long memories, just short snipits. Then I come back to reality and I compare now to then. Sometimes I can't help but frown at the difference. Some of these momentos related to people I never talk to anymore. It makes me regret how it happened sometimes. If I could turn back time, I would make it so that we would still be talking. But, I can't control time. I can only control my actions and the present.
Then there are the other momentos... the abnormally large collection of love letters I've gotten over the years from various people. They start as early as early elementary school to the early years of high school ... and then it stops. Then I start new ones from thereon with people all over the world (okay not all over the world.. just a few places) and begin a collection of air mail. If there's anything I love more than something hand-made, it's love letters. Even just a short note to say "Hi" will put a smile to my face. I love love letters :)

If I were to be stuck in my room for a week, I'm sure I'll keep myself very occupied. Just give me some food and drinks, I'll be set to go.
I actually consider my room to be some sort of vacation place. It's where I go when I need some down time. It's where I go when I need to shut the world out and think. It's where I go when I need to spend time with God. I'd probably say it's my most favorite room in the house ... even if I'm not in there that often--until of late. Who cares about the computer and the cyber world? Who cares about television and my much loved tv series? I've got tons of momentos to go through and a stack of wonderful books to read/reread. Which by the way I should say, I'm rereading the HP series. I've gone through the first book in a day. Attempting to go through the second one today. Sadly, I've kind of forgotten all that has happened! So it's almost as if I was reading it for the first time :)

I almost forgot...

2009-04-28T15:14:00.000-07:00

I almost forgot how therapeutic painting (or any other forms of artwork for this matter) was. I almost forgot how amazing it felt to be fully immersed in working without a worry on mind. I would work and work and work, and time just keeps passing me by. An hour would have gone by in the real world but only five minutes would have actually gone by in the art world.

I almost forgot how heart warming and satisfying it was to create a masterpeice. You know that the hard work you put in and the frustrations you endured was all worth it when you look at the end product. I would look it and be completely mesmerised. If my heart had a face, it would be smiling whenever I took the time to appretiate the works of art.

I almost forgot how much I like getting up early on a sunny day--especially if I had things planned for the day. I would take however much time I have added to my day by getting up early to do something that would please my soul. These times usually occur during retreats or some kind of away-from-home camp. I would get out into the sun and place myself in a surrounding with nature all around. I'll do my devotions, I'll sit around and think, or I'll just lie there and listen to the world happen. I almost forgot how these moments make me feel so alive.

I almost forgot why I've planned my life with kid activities all the way through. Why do I want to be an elementary school teacher? Why do I want to open my own day care? It's because I love kids. I almost forgot how it was to interact with kids. I almost forgot how good it felt to make someone feel special. It's hard to believe, but a short simple conversation with someone could go a long way. Kids only want to be heard--as do the rest of us. They have amazing stories to tell you and they take me on an adventure every time they do. They can be tough to handle at times and make you want to choke them the way homer chokes bart. They could annoy you so much, you would only want to ignore them. But the weight of their cuteness and good behaviour outdoes all those bad times. I almost forgot that it's because of kids that I am a better person.

I almost forgot how important it is to worry about and do things for people other than yourself. I almost forgot the sheer delight in being selfless. I almost forgot all of these amazing things.

satisfaction saturated--or almost there.

2009-04-27T19:52:00.000-07:00

I honestly believed that I needed a vacation from life. There were some things going on in my mind and I had a hard time dealing with it. Don't worry, it's nothing important. If it was important ... and you were important to me, you'd know. I felt that I needed to get away. Go and take a break from all these things and set my mind straight.

I can't say those thoughts have been dealt with 100% (I probably subdued some into my unconscious ... and will come out at a later time... but, that's for me to worry about later.), but I feel pretty satisfied with things. The wedding on saturday was a big help in pushing me back to reality and I guess not being so hooked on E.

ANYWAYS.

The wedding was pretty awesome. The decorations didn't look half bad... but it was totally not what I had in mind! Eh... oh well. I was really happy the whole time. This is my first friend wedding that I've attended and it was so exciting to witness their marriage! I can't wait till I attend weddings of friends who are even closer. I think I'll be even more excited for them....hehe.
The things that were different about this wedding included :
1. Carlin walking out of the sanctuary with the batman cape and batman theme song playing
2. The 4 month old ring bearer arrived on a plastic wagon
3. Instead of the traditional clanging of utensils on cups and plates, every person from that table had to stand and wave their red towel things as if they were at a canucks game.
4. The bridesmaids wore black dresses
5. We had cupcakes instead of a big wedding cake
6. Origami flowers instead of fake flowers or real flowers (other than the flower girl's flowers)

I went on a date with Kimmy on Sunday and I really enjoyed. Maybe that's what exactly what I was looking for...company. But company that is comfortable with the silence. I wanted company who would enjoy the silence as much as I did. We went to visit Surrey Central... and I showed her around the campus... or well the side that I was familiar with. We ventured on to look for the library (the side I've never been to). I was SO excited. Everything looked so nice and new... I felt like I was almost somewhere else and experiencing this for the very first time. I'll have to post pictures later... but man, they have some really neat architechtural stuff there :)

I can't remember the last time I went rollerblading at seawall... but today made me remember how GOOD it is to be out there. It also reminded me that I need new blades... my wheels were loose and sounded like a shopping cart all the way through. And lastly, it reminded me I need to exercise more....or just do more with my legs. They're so sore right now! I doubt I'll be able to walk tomorrow :( The seawall was tough... but very much enjoyable. Even though I had to walk back to burrard station and fight the traffic of people by running for lights with my jelly leg, or looking like a weirdo doing stretches on the skytrain, it was all worth it.

My satisfaction level is almost saturated if not fully saturated. Oh, I totally forgot to include this... I went volunteering today, and I realized how much I miss kids. Not being able to really interact with them on a daily basis for a short time for more than 2 year has led me to realize... I'm children deprived! Haha I don't care if I sound like a pedophile... cause I'm not. I don't care if you think that, I'm not...and that's all that matters :D

Man, I can't think straight right now. I need to defrost the chicken in front of the TV.

wordpress

2009-04-27T01:48:00.000-07:00

Don't worry. I'm not leaving the blogspot world...yet. Haha who knows what'll happen in the future right? Anyways, I just wanted to announce that I've got my food and travel blog up! There's not that much up yet (I plan to transfer my previous two food posts over there) ...I don't have a lot of time to update, but I will try my best and do what I can :)

Heck. I don't even know if you care...haha but I don't care. I'm doing it more for myself anyways. An archive of the savory things I love ...food and travelling.

http://savorythings.wordpress.com/

Oh yes, I changed the layout too....and closed my displaced blog. Well it's open...but yea, I just thought I could just rant on my own private blog and if anyone wanted to know something about me specifically, they'd ask.

comments

2009-04-26T23:07:00.000-07:00

@ liana: thanks :) I'll dedicate the first blog to you ...haha as lame as that may sound. I have this place in mind ... which I think you'll really like. If not, there's another place. (I am talking about food ...or food related places)

@ fiona: it was at salvation army church on main. ps, thanks for banning me from your site! I can't go read your blogs -.-

@ anonymous 3: haha your comment actually made me smile. I don't know who you are. But as long as you're not going to add to my list of weird stalkers, I approve of your comments on my page. Haha you've actually said some pretty funny things :)

food and travel blog

2009-04-24T00:43:00.001-07:00

I know I eat out quite a bit. And I know for a fact that I love travelling.

I've thought about it before, and Liana suggest that I do...

Maybe I will. I can't seem to think of a name though. I need something smart and catchy. Or.. I don't know. I can't seem to decided what I want anymore.

jinxed it

2009-04-19T00:14:00.001-07:00

I was talking to Alvin today... he sent me a youtube video. I told him that my computer is way too laggy to watch that right now... I really need to reboot it and clean out everything.

10 minutes later my computer restarts and dies. It DIES.

All it does is restart after it starts loading... and restart....and restart.

What a failed computer. And I was just about to print out my notes too!! :( good thing they were not as important ones.. so I can just reread from the txt.. but ugh. SO LAME

anonymous

2009-04-16T23:44:00.000-07:00

Have you ever talked about someone something as if you knew what you were talking about? Or if you did know it/them, you talk about it/them in detail?

It's weird... but I was talking to someone about something that someone did. You can't tell by the way I said it, but that person didn't tell me what I'm telling. Okay okay backtrack. I'm telling person A about what person B did. Person B never told me what B did, but I told person A what B did as if B did tell me.

Technically they did "tell me" since it was in the public when person B was talking ... it just wasn't directed at me :)

I don't know. It's not that I feel guilty... but it's werid sometimes? I guess it's weird becuase I don't talk to person B anymore... but I talked about them as if I did. *sigh. The dilemmas of knowing so many people... you aren't close to them all. Even though you may once have been close to them... it'll change in the future.

Speaking of anonymous... I have no idea what you're talking about... half my age plus 7 years. DUDE that's only 17. I'm not dating some 17 yr old :S

@Fiona, yes you did tell me you're serving.. well YOU didn't tell me, your blog did! And I congradulated you on your "promotion" remember?

@Amy, how did that make you laugh? Cooking isn't funny miss. It's serious matter. SERIOUS.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl4WN-aOWDY

Darn, I wanted to put the video here... but they disabled it. Oh well. :) Enjoy. Thanks Amy Lai! I think you sent me this?

This song speaks the words I never got to speak and probably would not have even thought of.

This is the way you left me,

I'm not pretending.

No hope, no love, no glory,

No Happy Ending.

This is the way that we love,

Like it's forever.

Then live the rest of our life,

But not together.

happy ending, mika

creepy

2009-04-14T23:36:00.001-07:00

On a uglier note... I do not like men who are 7+ years older than me (even 7 seems to be pushing it.... but I guess I could live with it?). Especially if they have a wife and kids.

food product knowledge

2009-04-14T22:55:00.000-07:00

So instead of studying, I'm doing some blogging.

I wonder if anyone actually found my rule 240 useful... eh. If you read this post, I'm sure you'll find it useful.. unless you know the ins and outs of food...then maybe not.

1. meat serving cuts

a. beef
-strip loin: cut from strip lion, boneless with narrow strip of fat
-prime rib: round meat cut with rib sometimes
-t-bone steak: strip loin and tenderloin seperated by t-shaped bone
-tenderloin/filet mignon: boneless section lying inside backbone; long, thin peice with almost no fat

b. lamb

-chop: t-shaped bone
-leg: large cut; wide on one end, narrowing in conical shape
-rack: uncut series of ribs
c. pork
-canadian-style/back bacon: cut in round shape, lower fat content than side bacon (I didn't even know we had a style cut of pork...haha how did I pass tourism 11)
-cutlet: oblong, boneless cut
-loin chop: t-shaped bone with fat on one side
-side bacon: alternating strips of meat and fat
-tenderloin: " as previous
d. veal
-cutlet: oblong, boneless cut
-strip loin: bonelss, short loin
-tenderloin: " as other

2. poultry meat cuts
a. white: upper portion of body i.e breast, wings, generally lower in fat content than dark
b. dark: lower limbs i.e leggs

3. fish cuts
a. whole: cleaned, head intact
b. fillet: boneless portion from side of fish
c. steak: cross-section slice containing some backbone

4. soup types

a. bique: pureed shellfish & finished with cream
b. chowder: mae from fish, shellfish &/or vege
>>new york/manhattan style has tomato base
>>boston/new england style has cream base

c. cold soups: served chilled

d. consomme: flavourful, concentrated stock clarified until transparent

e. cream: finished with milk or cream

5. food preperation and service terms

a. a la mode: with ice cream
b. al dente: firm. not soft or mushy
c. au gratin: browned or crusted top

d. au jus: meat served with natural jucies

e. battered: prepared by deep-frying

f. blackend: spiced item seared over high heat

g. breaded: covered with crumbs

h. butterfly: cut partially through and spread open to increase surface area ie. shrimp

i. canape: cold app. served open-faced on bread, toast etc

j. chateaubriand: thick fillet or beef steak that is carved table side

k. clarify: make clear

l. de-vein: remove vien from shrimp

m. flambe: finish with spirit and set aflame

n. florentine: garnished with spinich

o. jlienne: cut into small, thin strips

p. marinate: soak in seasoned liquid

q. medallions: small round slices of meat

r. puree: 1. food mashed into smooth pulp, 2. pulp by mashing or straining food

s. red meat prep

1. blue: seared on outside, raw interior

2. rare: browned surface, red interior

3. medium-rare: halfway between rare and medium

4. medium: thicker layer of cooked meat, pink interior

5. medium well: halfway between medium and well done

6. well done: cooked meat throughout
a. salisbury steak: oval-shaped portion of compressed ground beef
b. swiss steak: beef round steak braised in brown sauce

6. sauces

a. hollandaise: butter and egg yolks

b. brown/espagnole: brown stock and roux (wheat flour and fat)

c. bechamel: milk & roux

d. veloute: white stock & roux

e. tomato: tomato stock & sometimes roux

7. pasta

a. spaghetti: long. round noodles

b. linguini: long, flat noodles

c. lasanga: broad, flat noodles, often with rippled edges

d. macaroni: shor, round hollow rubes

e. fettuccini: long, flat noodles; wider than linguini

f. stuffed: pasta with filling i.e ravioli or tortellini

8. rice

a. long grain: grains that stay seperated when cooked

b. short grain: become sticky when cooked

c. wild: hard and dark grains, native to Canada & US

d. basmati: extra long grain with nutty flavour

Oh man, there's other stuff too, but eh, too lazy to read, and this has taken enough of my time! Back to studying. Or you know.. trying to read.

spring cleaning.

2009-04-11T23:34:00.000-07:00

Dear cookie mon,

I have loved you dearly for the past 5 years. You have been nothing but great comfort to my feet and brought me nothing but flattering comments. You give my feet hugs when I need it most. You keep my feet nubly warm :) People have been completely entranced upon your presence. You light up the room where ever you go.

I am sad to put you away but I fear that if I don't, you will be suffering more than you are now. So today I have decided to pull the plug on your existence. I will not watch you get covered in dirt and lose your paddings. I will put an end to it all and I will say good bye.

Good bye my friend.

I had one of those blah days. It was just.... blah. I was supposed to go to a bachelorette party today, but I said something came up. Obviously nothing really obnoxious happened... but I didn't feel too good. Well, emotionally well I mean. And I just wasn't up for a massage or eating dinner. I feel really bad... but I'm sure that she had fun. Instead, I had a very chill day to myself. I kind of lazed around and started cleaning stuff here and there around the house and my room. I decided I'm not going to pack rat useless stuff anymore (as hard as I tried... I couldn't help but keep my philosophy 12 stuff... it's weird but I find it's like throwing away knowledge...so I'll keep it for now). I threw out a bunch of my high school stuff and reorganized my uni stuff. Oh, and I'm so keen on keeping my books and articles..that I've started to put my readings in binders and is going to add to my bookshelf soon. Man, I need a bigger book shelf.. who would've though I had so many books :S

Whenever I throw things out, I come across neat things. I thought I should blog about them because it's fun sharing :) And some of them can be very useful! Like what I have to share today...

Rule 240.

Have you heard of it? Maybe. But most likely not since the airlines don't want you to know! Unless you've taken tourism courses in highschool (or studying tourism elsewhere).

If your airline delays your flight and cannot get you to your destination in 2 hours, they will have to pay for your ticket for another flight that will--even if it means going first class on another airline. The are a few exceptions: 1. the cause cannot be external (ie. weather) or something that is not in the control of the airline (something mechanical related would work) and, 2. the rule 240 is different for all airlines even though they all have something similar. They will tweak it here and there just so it will be harder for you to "get".

But yea, all you have to do is walk up to the counter and tell them that you would like to invoke rule 240 and they must honor it. I haven't had my flights delayed...but know people who have, so I hope by typing this I will remember to tell them next time! (haha dusty knowledge at the back of my mind that never gets light).

Oh man, I'm reading more on this excerpt ... and there's so much good flying tips! I'll leave that for next time ... maybe. Or if anyone is interested, let me know and I'll blog it. If not, I'll probably forget.

Ah! I just remembered (and I just reading my old posts)... since I'm on the spring cleaning run, I should clean some of my old posts up. I can't believe I thought like that before! In a sense, I want to keep it and see how I've changed...but at the same time I'm weirded out by the way I wrote. I think a lot A LOT of the things were metaphorical...but still. And my first blogger! Which I started back in 05. Wow... those were my true feelings. It's nice to read them...haha not like the absurd xanga ones.

what a tease

2009-04-09T13:37:00.000-07:00

You come and go as you wish. I didn't even have time to really spend with you. I only got to see you from afar. I really wanted to be with you but I was trapped inside my dark jail cell. What's the deal?

I'm ready for summer. So sunshine, please come back soon.

That was a brutal two days... remind me to never attempt two papers the night before AGAIN. I was literally scrambling to get my paper to the office in time before it closed... scary experience indeed.

Haha I totally got distracted from blogging... now I'm now in the mood. Great.

I shall end with an amaaaaaaaaaaazing video :) I don't use the word hot much, but I'll use it now. Lee Min Ho is HOT. Did you know I had a thing for jrock long ago? Now you know. Did you know I have a thing for guys who have lip peircings? Now you know. Did you know I find some guys with makeup on hot? Now you know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-5sHcb4cNY&feature=related

lose you

2009-04-06T21:06:00.000-07:00

It could come just like that and they're gone.

We wouldn't have the slightest clue it was coming.

Everything slows down and it makes you think twice about the whole world.

There have been so many House episodes that have stuck out to me. But until today, I've only had one that really touched me. It was when Chase consoles his patient (or wait.. I think it was the patient's affiliate?) with a bible verse...which became my favorite bible verse :)

1 Peter 1:7

Kutner just left the team. No one can bring him back. He's dead. You never know if anyone is really okay just because they look okay. Your last chance to say something to them could be today because you might not see them tomorrow. (Although personally, I think he could've been murdered too... haha common, House is hardly wrong. :)

lose You
Pete Yorn

I’m taking a ride off to one side

It is a personal thing.

Where?

When I can’t stand

Up in this cage I’m not regretting.

I don’t need a better thing,

I’d settle for less,

It’s another thing for me,

I just have to wander through this world

Alone.

Stop before you fall

Into the hole that I have dug here,

Rest even as you

Are starting to feel the way I used to,

I don’t need a better thing

(Just to sound confused)

Don’t talk about everyone,

I am not amused by you.

I’m gonna lose you,

Yeah I’m gonna lose you

If I’m gonna lose you,

I’m gonna lose you,

Yeah I’m gonna lose you

If I’m gonna lose you

I’ll lose you now for good

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyUXLzKWxLs

blogging urges

2009-04-06T18:25:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but I used to have crazy blogging urges. On my way home, I would come up with an amazing post to put up and do it as soon as I got the chance. I wouldn't say I'm very good at writing (if you read my papers, you'll understand), but I have some alright points to make. Or well, points that I find are important.

I don't really get those anymore. Maybe it's cause I've gotten older and there's so many more on my mind. There are things where I really have to think through again and again. The drama never really seems to stop.

But I do have urges every now and again... even though they tend to disappear by the time I sit down and am ready to blog. Here's a peice I wrote because I had nothing better to do (yea, I probably did... but I couldn't concentrate so I wrote things down to make it look like I was concentrating :D).

There are so many times when christians forget or just can't let go and let God. And there are so many more times where all of us can't give up and move on.

We're all stuck being in a phase. It's a phase where we are entranced by our emotions. We are too caught up in the situations of how it is affecting us. Even when it all ends, we wallow in the aftermath. That's when things seem to only get worse and we can't move on. Your selfish self wants to be in this pain. We can't let go and move on because we don't want to. If we do and we're trying, we're not giving it our one hundred percent.

As my good friend Morrie would say, it is only after you experience the emotion fully that you can move on.

late nights

2009-04-03T05:41:00.000-07:00

It's 5:42am and I am about halfway to the end of my paper. Hurrah!

It's woth 30%. Booo.

The paper is one power relations within a classroom setting, which is something I'm very interested in. Hurrah!

I'm stuck on connecting it to theory. Boo.

I took a half an hour nap (or 20 mins.. I can't remember the time cause I fell asleep for a bit at first and then woke up to see the time and decided to sleep a little longer...but it seemed like 30mins even though it FELT like 5 mins). Meh

I'm listening to Do You know by Someday over and over and over again. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIQ2279Ye6I Hurrahhhhhh.

Trying to facebook stalk someone but not getting the answers I want....boooo.

Will be getting back to my paper now. Double boo.

opinionated.

2009-04-01T19:36:00.000-07:00

1. Adding to my hate for disrespectful drivers are those who try to beat you in crossing the street by turning left or right. How did you get your license if you haven't even learned to yield to pedestrians?

2. People should have more respect for the elders. Not only should the people be giving back to the community... but they should give it back at a seniors home.

3. A simple thanks and I love you can go a long way.

4. I don't care if water doesn't mix well with food, I like to have my glass of water and drink it every so often.

cockney kings fish and chips

2009-03-31T23:25:00.001-07:00

Cockney Kings Fish & Chips

6500 Hastings Street

(Hastings & Kensington Avenue @ Kensignton Square)

This is one of the best fish and chip places by far (then again, I haven't really gone to any other... although I hear the one in Steveston by Gary Point is good...). It makes me have a smiley face towards fish and chips now and not a grossed out sad face (well, not as extreme). I personally don't like the whole battered fish deal. It's so oily! But once in a while is alright. And it's even better if you get to share it with friends... so it's not as oily!

The all you can eat is on Mondays to Wednesdays all day. I can't remember the cost... but it was really cheap!! And common, you get bottomless pop! :)

I can't remember exactly what my Ling teacher said about this restaurant and the placemats they had... but it was something along the lines of: they're the only (or one of the few) place that keep the Cockney Rhyming Slang alive (in Vancouver?). Basically they have some random words and it's supposed to rhyme with what they actually want to say.

Here's an example of it. "Dicky Dirt" stands for shirt.
Other examples include: britney spears = tears, tom cruise = booze, don't say a dicky bird= word ... it goes on.

I ordered the Louisiana Shrimp Dinner. It came with "what-what" sauce--which is basically a thousand island kind of mayo sauce... I think. This was actually really good! The shrimp was very flavorful and could be eaten by itself (it has a spicy zing to it) The coleslaw was alright... I'm not a big fan of it in general.
Haha I'm horrible, I can't actually remember what the other people got...but one got a fish burger, and the others got pieces of fish. I had a bite of them all and really liked it :)

This is a family & regulars kind of restaurant. You can see the people who work there have very surface questions with their customers... but their surface questions are actually very personal! Kind of like hows so and so? Excellent place to go to if you're feeling talkative and wanting to go "home". Their decor really reminded me of a home.

brother's appretiation night 09

2009-03-30T22:19:00.000-07:00

This was a huge success :) It goes down as one of the bestest BANs in our history. Come to think of it... I think this year was our five year ani? WAS IT? Oh man, it's either 5 or more. 1: dance, 2: japanese 3:amazing race 4: diarrhea 5: spice girls 6: skit. Okay, it's definitely past our 5th year ani.

Who would've thought to design their own socks? Only silly girls like us would :)

It actually takes a lot of creative juice to get those things to look good. It also would've been more decorative if we had more colours.

Hopefully, our version of I'm Yours sounded alright. I know I screwed up a few times. For the first time in a long time, I was actually nervous in front of them. I think it's cause we just stood there without doing anything to distract me from worrying.

A parody of a parody. a;jfrasldjf kill myself a;lsdjfslf.

OH HOT TOE. This is your jam. Gotta keep scrubbing till the AM. Y'all don't understand, this is your toe jam, toe toe toe toe jam.

Bubble dance - bring it arouuuuuuunnnnnnnnndddd town.

Good night.

shak tea

2009-03-29T20:44:00.000-07:00

After reading chowtimes.com, I kind of got inspired to jot down the places and the things of vancouver. So my aim is to not just desceribe vancouver food places, but vancouver as a whole. Woot. It'll also give me something to write about when I can't think of anything :)

(btw alyssa, you should subscribe! or like... follow. I think you'll like it cause they give out recipies too :)

Shak Tea

3702 Main Street (Main & 21st)

It's not a very big place, but it's very nice. It had a cafe kind of feel... with dimmer lights and a more cozy feel to it. Their style is unique too; there's this bench like thing (which I really like, and it makes me want to curl up and real a novel since it's right next to the window), a metal treasure box looking table, paintings of local artists all around (I forget who...I think I should find out). Oh and importantly, there is a spacious bathroom :)

This was a different approach to serving tea from what I was used to (although I wasn't too unfamiliar with it since I came once before); teapot under candlelight. The thing I found annoying with it was the people who worked there kept reminding us to blow out the candle. AND they had a sign smack front on the tables that said to blow it out.
The name of the tea slips my mind right now... but it was type of black tea (moon silver, sliver?). It was pretty good from what I remembered. It was a mild-medium taste (they steep the tea for you, so it may not be as strong as you want it and it means you don't get refills...sadly).
We got two cookies; espresso brownie and pistachio nut. Oh and complementary ginger snapits. The brownie was so good! It resembled a soft chewy cookie...which I really like. The pistachio one was alright... it didn't really have a taste to it. Then again, pistachios don't really have a taste right? The ginger snapits(I actually just made that name up for them... so don't take my word on it) were surprisingly good too.! The first time I had them they were so hard, I had to dip them in the tea.

You think milk and cookies are good, wait till you try dipping your cookies in tea :)

I did not stage this picture... I was served the cookies like so! And coincidentally, it looks like cookie monster :)

Overall this is a nice tea place. I just wish that they wouldn't kick us out after finishing our tea. Common! What kind of business do you run here? You don't even have an customers...-.- And if their tea was more worth it.. meaning we get refills or a bigger pot.

did you know?

2009-03-29T00:33:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpEnFwiqdx8&feature=PlayList&p=B742B2E5E9D8E119&index=2

I learnt more things from this video than I have this past week (I don't dare say any earlier because I can't recall...sadly.)

stuck in place

2009-03-27T01:34:00.000-07:00

The word just seems to be stuck in place. They're bouncing off the walls in my head. They're so excited, they just want out.

I open my mouth, but the words just won't come out.

I lift my pen, but the tip doesn't touch the paper.

I put my hands on the keyboard, but I just can't type.

If there were an invention to read minds, everything would be much better. I would plug it in, and it would extract all my thoughts--all those words. I wouldn't have to open my mouth, it would be capture in the invention. I wouldn't have to lift my pen, there's nothing to write about anymore. I wouldn't have to blog about anything, it would just be there. If an such an invention existed, people wouldn't go crazy with voices stuck in their head. They'll be able to let it all out, and be a tabula rasa again.

Wouldn't it be lovely?

picasa updated fyi:http://picasaweb.google.com/huang.juliee

remeeting someone.

2009-03-25T23:17:00.000-07:00

Have you ever lost contact with someone whom you were really close to (or just saw on a regularly basis) and somehow meet them again in life?

It's werid because I had a friend whom I was somewhat close to during the first few years of high school... and later just drifted away. After high school, we didn't even talk to each other. The only thing that kept us "bonded" was facebook and msn. But I didn't even talk to her through those.

Then today, all of a sudden I meet her again. The time and place was just so ... different from before. It was somewhat like a high school reunion type thing...-2 years later with just 2 people. It was exciting and I was really happy to see her, even if it was only for like 5 minutes.

I think I'll enjoy my 10 year reunion at Tech very much.

A meeting like a handkerchief.

2009-03-24T01:12:00.000-07:00

In general there are three kinds of meetings.

The first is something like a fish. When you touch the fish, you can't resist the fishy smell. It smells bad. When you meet someone whom you never want to see again, this is a fishy meeting.

The second is something like a flower. It is a beauty that release a pleasant fragrant. But it withers away in time. The second kind of meeting is very attractive but it cannot last for a very long time.

The third meeting is something like a handkerchief. It wipes away your sweat in tough times, and your tears in moments of sorrow. The third kind of meeting is always at hand and it lends a hand when in need.

Maybe not...

2009-03-21T15:37:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a friend a while ago about friends. He said that he could live without people, let alone friends, if he had to. He would find comfort in being by himself.

I told him I could never do that. I'm the type of person who always needs people around. It doesn't matter if I have a super close relationship with them or not, I just need them to be in proximity. I need communication. I would feel cut off and deprived if I didn't.

Then of late, I started to think that it may not be as bad of an idea as I had initially thought it to be.

I realized that there are many things I already enjoyed doing alone ... so if I was always alone, it may not be that bad. I could live alone. I could cook alone. I could shop alone. I could eat alone. I could do so many things on my own... it'll be kind of nice.

Obviously I can't do this for a long time. But maybe being cut off from people and all sorts of communication for a little while wouldn't be too bad. Maybe I'll give it a shot one day... in the middle of my midlife cirsis or something (which I think I kind of had a taste of... not too long ago).

no concentration.

2009-03-16T23:41:00.000-07:00

Ugh! I am so unfocused. I don't even know what I'm doing .... I have so many things to do...but I'm not doing it. I'm so distracted. Haha this is more of a rant than anything.

Journaling is good therapy.

There's a nice blank page waiting for me to fill it with the thoughts in my head. But I've noticed that as I grow up more, I screen what I say. Before I actually write anything down, I think it out in my head and see if it makes sense and if that's really what I'm thinking. I don't vomit my thoughts anymore. In a way... that's good if I ever want to go back and read my journals (yea right). But sometimes there are things I screen in which I'm too afraid to say and would otherwise be good for me to write it out instead of keeping it in.

@ anonymous #3 (okay I can't really tell if you're the same person the first time I had a comment from anonymous ... or the 2nd time, so I'll just call you #3 :)

I applaud your girl talks comeback. And yea you guys can play hard to get... but who would chase after YOU you're anonymous... haha just kidding :) and no, I cannot turn off the music, it's too good.

ps, fyi, I'm not depressed over those things, it's just what we talked about in the girl talks... and it was just the topic I wanted to blog about.

Girl talks.

2009-03-15T19:27:00.000-07:00

Things would be different if some guys took the intitive more often. If they could break out of their shell and just say hi; If they could just break out of their shell and tell the girl; if he would tell her how much she means to him and not just I like you; if they could let her know what's in it for her, things would be different.

Things would be different if some guys would just take the time to wait and persist. Maybe the second time around (or in some cases third, fourth...) she'll say yes. Don't give up so easily. Maybe they just have to be patient and wait for the right timing.

Things would be different if people didn't care about unimportant matters. So what about school? So what about the amount of time you spend building the relationship? So what about the age? So. What.

Who am I kidding? This is life. Things don't always go the way you want it to. It just means it went the way the others wanted it to.

peantuts on the plane

2009-03-11T15:55:00.000-07:00

"You've done it before. ______ is like peanuts on the plane ... free and easy. Even though they don't give peanuts anymore..."

Carlin Wong

He must be the human form of God the father. Haha okay he's not...but yea. He's too good to me sometimes. :)

Don't Run Alone.

2009-03-10T23:26:00.000-07:00

Change is finding enough reason to go the extra mile.

Ed Mylett

Journey of Life,

The journey of Dick and Rick Hoyt

Get yourself some tissues and watch the other related videos. Trust me, you'll need the tissues.

Who would've thought that such a hero existed in our times?

Who would've thought that Ed Mylett would have met him.

Who would've thought he would be such hero to Ed that Ed would show this at a convention? At a business conference.

I still can't get over how awesome the convention was. I felt I was not there to learn how to sell things or to do business related things... but to be inspired and to as weird as it may sound, to hear God speak. I heard God speak through so many of the speakers that I thought I was at a christian conference at times.

Imagine how handicapped each of us is. We can't do anything even if we wanted to. Then there's God, our father who comes along and makes us able. He's the one behind the wheelchair pushing, pulling, and dragging us across the finish line.

Imagine how handicapped each of us can be without friends. We would not find happiness in anything that we do. Then there's friends. There's Jesus, our Lord and Savior but most importantly, He's our friend. They're the friends who are willing to go the extra mile for us. They're the friends who step up and do things for you even if they don't normally do it. They made an exception for you, their friend.

LOVE IT

2009-03-09T22:33:00.000-07:00

when I see my friends blog;

when I get comments;

when I get emails,

letters,

offline msgs;

when I take a nice picture;

when I cut good hair (or you know cut it so it's nice?);

when people msg me on msn.

Caught having a fling.

2009-03-08T23:54:00.000-07:00

[insert fling picture here]

Okay, as lame as that may sound and unbelievable... it's real. It was a promo thing for the new chocolate bar called fling. My photo isn't up yet..and it's been 24 hrs :( they lied.

http://www.flingchocolate.com/

Los Angeles California.

AMAZING. Not what I expected ... in a lot of ways. Then again, I don't like going with too much expectation. Overall I must say that I did enjoy myself the whole time. I can't think of a time when I didn't...ecept the walking till my feet hurted from my flats part... and the fact that I had to rush to the airport for departure back to Vancouver ...and the rain on wednesday ..and the amount of people that roamed the streets of downtown LA ... and the shopping in downtown LA. Okay fine, I had SOME expectation.

1. Downtown LA is not as cool as I thought it'd be. Not exactly the touristy place to chill. It's a good chilling chill place. Haha if that makes sense.

2. Hollywood is crazy packed with tourists.

3. Starbucks is the same price.... that means I got jipped!!

4. LA people are SO chill. One of the nicest bunch I've met :) I might even say nicer than Vancouverians. Sadly.

5. LA is HUGE... it takes so long to walk from one place to the next. I make a 1 hour walk/hike to and from the hotel everyday. That does not include other random walking.

Day One:

Arrived at the airport at 5 something Am. Oh man. Got on the flight at 7 and landed in LA at 10. Sandra and I were supposed to wait for Darren to take the shuttle together...but we couldn't find him so we decided to ditch. Only to realize he ditched us too. He was already at the metro station waiting for us. The ride to 7th station (downtown LA) was so long! It's easy to understand the transfer from green line to blue line...but the transfer itself was hard! I had to walk down stairs with my bag etc :( Not to mention, the trains take SOOOOOO long to come. Every 20 mins? Ridiculous! And then when we got there.. we had to WALK to our hotel. Great. That took 15ish minutes? Not too bad... but I had my luggage with me. When we get there they tell us we can't check in till 3pm. It was 12. GG what are we going to do with our luggage for so long? Good thing they had a luggage room :)

After we left our stuff with the bellman, we went to grab lunch at 7 + Fig food court. I don't even remember the name of the place but it was some philly sandwich place. The sandwich was okay..kind of bland. The lemonade was totally watered down. And the fries had extra salt. (WOAH. I just had a craving for the sandwich. It wasn't even that good...what's wrong with me??)

We walked over to the convention center and DUDE it's huuuuuuuuuuuugeeeeee. Staples center is huuuuuuuuuuugeeeee too. Oh and yes the nokia plaza as well! All these big buildings. Oh and not to mention, the BIG buildings with BIG ads on the sides. Crazyness. After we registered and got our stuff, we headed back to the hotel to drop off everything so we could walk around.

By the time we got to fashion district, everything was closed ...it was only 6pm!! Dude, everything closes so early. Oh well. The stuff weren't that great either. I thought they had nice stuff...it was all knockoffs and the place was totally sketched up. Not worth the walk.

Went to Koreatown to have dinner at some korean BBQ place. Haha it was funny... they thought we were going to have bbq when we didn't even say! The food was actually pretty good! Different from what we have in Vancouver.. not sure how much more different... it just was. Went to the korean T&T and bought groceries.

Er, I'm not too good at doing recaps anymore. I'm totally tired from writing already. Haha I totally fail. Here's the brief outline. I'll explain better in person if you care to ask :)

Day Two:

1. Arrived late but still got frontish row seats for the Canadian session

2. Heard Diane Buckner & Mike Lipkin speak

3. Crappy seats for the other session in a different hall

4. Went to Westin to help Darren move luggage (more like accompany him)

5. Got AMAZING news from Vicki. We really do own our business now. We can even pass it down to our kids!! Dude that's awesome.

6. Went to get subway and called it a night

Day Three:

1. Went early in search of something I lost... only to get blocked cause they closed off all the exits and ended up going to 3 different lines and doors to get in

2. Couldn't find water bottle, but made a friend from LA. I sold him to come to Vancouver

3. Another lonnnnnnnnng session

4. Got off to go get dressed for Gala

5. Got really bored before the end of Gala was over so we left early to get subway and called it a day again

Day Four:

1. Wore our ugly ehorse shirts to the convention and we were lateeeee :(

2. But we weren't as late as everyone else... we got the front row seats of our section

3. 12000+ people in the room...amaaaaaaaazing

4. lunch at rock 'n fish with the waiter that knew more vancouver resturants than me

5. front row seats for 2nd session :D Ed Mylett was so good. I cried so hard

6. Mini break out

Day Five:

1. Hollywood/Vine has NOTHING for you to see... except the hollywood sign, the kobe bryant poster and some random walk of fames of people I do not know

2. Hollywood/highland THIS is the place. Forever 21 was the first and best shopping place I went to in LA.

3. Bussed to Farmer's market and made second friend in LA and he met the wonder girls!!! Totally jealous

4. Farmer's market is AMAAAAAAZING. Take a clean robson and stick it on granville island.

5. Cheesecake factory is my favorite restaurant. And to have it decked out with fancy decos makes the stay even more enjoyable.

6. Those darn half naked abercombie & fitch models

7. Rushed back to the hotel

8. Rushed to the airport

9. Passed out, and finally home

http://picasaweb.google.com/huang.juliee/WFGConventionInLA09#

Lock it in.

2009-03-01T21:27:00.000-08:00

(tehehe this reminded me of you amy)

A wise friend of mine taught me about locking things in.

In the course of our human life, we go through ups and downs. We experience amazing things which make us smile and make our hearts melt. We also experience things that cut us deep and leave scars and brusies.

It's funny that instead of choosing to lock in those happy moments, we tend to lock in the painful ones. We play the same scene in which we were hurt over and over again.

Over

and

over

again.

When we stumble upon it during the day, it kind of consumes us. We can distract ourself with things to keep us busy. But as soon as we have alone time to think, the thoughts intrude again.

Isn't it better to focus and lock in those happy moments? Tell someone and express your happiness to them so that when you are faced with unhappy times, you can think back on how happy you were telling that person and just lock in that moment. Remember how good it made you felt. Remember how you thought no one could knock you off and bring you down.

Remember your smiles.

:( So many friendships are not going the way they're supposed to be... or are they?

BUT

:) I finished a paper that was originally due tonight at 11:55pm... but it's extended till Wednesday. Woot! It wouldn't have made a difference to me though. And I still have amazing friends. I can't win em all!

One step at a time.

2009-03-01T01:57:00.000-08:00

A wise children's book once told me about taking things one step at a time.

Little One Step was on a journey with his brother and sister (okay I can't remember if it was...but he was with his brother, I'm sure). Little One Step was young and got tired easily. He would just plop down on the ground and say that he can't go on. His brother encouraged him to go on and said that it's just as easy as putting one foot in front of the other and concenrate on that. And so he did. Finally he reaches his mom, the end.

There's so much to do and so much going on that I don't want to go on. I want to just sit down and take a rest. Or wish that I'll appear at my destination magically.

The key is just to remember to put one feet in front of the other and just concentrate on doing that instead of calculating how much you have left to go.

So what if you have piles of things to do? So what if you being attacked physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually? Life has to go on. The world won't stop just because you want to. Suck it up princess, I'll carry your tiara (many thanks this saying by cory).

Haha, with that being said, breaks are definietly enouraged so that your legs don't fall of by the end of the day

ADD

2009-02-27T01:47:00.000-08:00

I feel SOooooooooo ADD right now. Or like you know, just very hyper and not able to think well/straight.

Maybe this is a good sign for me to go sleep.

So I was reading my friend's book and just read my other friend's site,

and I miss blogging through the differnt typography techniques.

I remember the days on xanga where italics and bolding were used.

I remember the days on xanga where the alignment of my text would be aligned left

or right

or center.

I can't recall, but maybe I've done something in justified as well. (so in order for me to show that here, I have to kind of ramble on about nothing ness. Doot doot doot. I had this amazing dream today and it was weird. Hai, I told you I'm kind of hyper right now)

I remember the days on xanga where I would write tons of neat stories. They told stories of my life in the most unexpected ways.

Oh yes, and I remember the days on xanga where I would have colour. Lots and lots of different kinds of colour. Okay maybe I didn't have that many... but it was nice once in a while to change your boring static font to something more dynamic.

Speaking of font, I remember the days on xanga where I would change up the style of my font every once in a while. Blogger lacks in this area, I only have

arial times new romans Courier

georgia lucida grande trebuche verdana

and webdings (webdings). Xanga had a whole wack more. I wonder if just impliment the font name... would I get something similar? Like this? MAGIC!! It works. But that's lame, I gotta type it out... fail blogging.

Hurray for creative people in this world.

They inspire me to do things.

They inspire me to be creative.

And creative I shall try once again.

Taken for granted.

2009-02-24T20:21:00.001-08:00

There's so many things in life we take for granted and we don't see the true value of things until it's gone. I don't feel so bad about "using and abusing" material things. You can always get another one.. if you can't, there are other things to satisfy your material thirst. Okay wait, I take that back, there are some things that are irreplaceable. I feel worse about not appretiating people when they're here with me. Sometimes the simplest things are the best things. I wonder those simple things would change the present. I wonder if I would still have as many friends as I do now. I wonder if I would feel less guilty about unintentionally hurting people. I wonder if I could be doing more with my life.

I think at the end of the day if I said more thank yous and more I love yous, everyone would benefit.

Thanks for reading my blog :) Thanks to my faithful readers who always comment and check up on me! I just want to know that you mean a lot to me and I'm honored to have to read about my life.. and you should feel priviledged to be able to too! I'll always be there to read your blog too ...even though you don't post often nor do you post about life. Haha it's all good. I love you and I love our friendship <33

The best video to go with this sentiment of post:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uy0HNWto0UY&feature=dir

It's cute. Kind of reminds me of wongfu's AMY movie with post it notes. Speaking of which... I really want a copy of the movie!! I've been wanting to watch it again.

By the end of today what do you wish to happen?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kow8OoOCm6Y

Goodbye.

2009-02-23T19:21:00.000-08:00

What happens when the world is moving forward and you're left behind?

Everyone is moving on with their life; their career starts, they get married, and they have kids. Relationships outside of family get harder and harder to maintain (or so it seems). It's like your friendship life has to be slowed down or put on hold when you are in a relationship and when you get married. It's a sad thing, but that's what happens. Spending time with your significant other has to come before hanging out with friends doing insignificantly significant things.

It's scary to know so many people around me are falling in love. While I'm happy for them, I frown at the freedom we'll have to spend time together. A part of me feels left behind too. I know that it's just not my time yet ... but man! Waiting for your time is hard.

And goodbye to parts of the load of school work I had to do. Presentation and novel report checked off my list.

Just a midterm, a few proposals, some assignments, and a paper left to do before I leave for LA. Speaking of LA.. I actually still have to work on my paper when I'm there. That's just a little depressing.

One week away. I cannot believe it. I'm not mentally or physically prepared to go.

Horoscopes.

2009-02-19T21:26:00.000-08:00

The thing I find with horoscopes are that they are more advice and words of wisdom than things you should live by. Once in a while I'd read through all of the horoscopes. Of course there are some ridiculous ones, but there are some that actually make sense. Take these for example:

"Don't burn bridges. You should be content with what you have and whom you are with, though you think you need more. Don't butt heads with a confidant due to unrealistic goals."

"There's not point in holding a grudge. Open up your hear and be the first one to go to the person you've been feuding with and clear the air."

"Follow through with promises. A heart-to-heart talk could give you a fresh perspective and out-look that will expand the possibilities. When opportunity comes knocking, just open the door."

Pretty wise words don't cha think?

On a different note. I usually check the mailslot before I leave the house. Today, I found some random letters and a thick cardboardy package. Now I know that my brother has been ordering stuff online recently, so I just assumed it was his. I checked the front of the package to make sure and I actually couldn't believe it said "Julie Huang ....." instead. I had this huge smile sprawled across my face. I knew who it was from immediately. It was totally unexpected! I just had to squeel and jump a little... haha. I thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing on my way to school... the present, the letters... it was awesome. I absolutely LOVE snail mail. And when it's least expected, it's even more awesome! I don't know why but I find getting mail to be so much more personal than just an email. Mail takes more time and it costs something too! It just shows how much you treasure that person. I LOVE IT! :) Thanks Yee Ping. You're an awesome best friend... you know how to make my day.

For all the guys who read my blog, this is a tip. Apparently girls REALLY love snail mail (no, it's not just me ...-.-"). So if you're ever trying to impress a girl... impress her with something sent through the mail from YOU ... and not from amazon or ebay.

Oh gosh. I just forgot to do an assignment. GG. This is the 2nd time. GG x2.

Some things can't be replaced.

2009-02-18T22:59:00.000-08:00

Like the fact that I had 250 text/month

but I went around for more than half a year believing that I had only 30/month.

I'm so depressed over that. I've been going around telling everyone.... haha. I think I'll get over it by tomorrow--hopefully.

I went out with the guys from high school for lunch today at red robins. It was such a last minute thing ... I don't think I enjoyed it as much as I would have liked to. It was weird... I wanted to say it's just like old times... but I'm not sure if I can. I can't say it was just like old times. I don't remember how the old times were because we never really did anything alone --just me and the guys (maybe one or two of them..but with all three? It was a change!). I can't recall if this IS like the old times ... and we never talked so much. What am I babbling about?

It was an enjoyable time with the guys. It wasn't good, it wasn't bad. It was neutral.

Oh man, I wonder if this is me stressing out, or me getting old, or me going through quarter life crisis (ALREADY?!).

Speaking of which, I wonder if I will go through quarter life crisis.

I was talking about it with my friend yesterday and I said I don't think I would. I found myself to be very "settled" in life. I like where I'm at ... I enjoy what I do. But when I thought about it some more... I realized that my identity is so dynamic... maybe I might go through QLC. I've always been struggling to be more like someone else and haven't really found myself being myself. What is the identity of myself? Who am I really? I honestly don't know. Then again, does everyone know? Is their identity not dynamic too?

Pardon my thoughts. I'm very all over the place today.

The way I see it...

2009-02-18T00:50:00.000-08:00

things usually never go the way you plan it.

Whether it be for better or for worse... things never go as planned. Just because it wasn't according to your plan, doesn't mean it wasn't according to my plan... and vice versa.

I just gotta remember that and learn to deal with it.

Excitment contained.

2009-02-17T00:33:00.000-08:00

As pathetic as it might sound, I've got to contain my excitment for LA until I get through will all my school work. The amount of work still left to do ... unbelievable. I've got midterms, I've got papers, I've got assignments, and still above all, I've got to go to class. If I could skip class and just work...I honestly would. It just sucks when you know that the classes are not only important... but to get away from a class of only 20 people is kind of hard.

And with reading break in my way, I'm not getting anymore done than I did before. Reading break is really an excuse to go chill with your friends. It's so tempting to say no... haha.

Getting around.

2009-02-16T17:20:00.000-08:00

If you were to stalk me from the YVR to LAX to my hotel, it'd go something like this.
(I'm just kidding, this is all just for me to keep track of some stuff... I don't like using the new word that they have on these school computers.)

From LAX to 7th Street Station: Take the short shuttle bus ride from the airport's Central Terminal Area to the Green Line Aviation Blvd. station, and board the little light rail cars toward Norwalk. Enroute, at the Imperial-Wilmington Ave. "Rosa Parks" station, you will need to switch trains (easily done) to the Los Angeles (northbound) Blue Line to complete the journey. (Should I mention that you could also go southbound to Long Beach and the Aquarium of the Pacific.) Get off at 7th Street Station.

From 7th Street Station to Mayfair hotel: Walk down 7th towards 110 FWY and take a left on Hartford.

Convention & Must Sees:
From hotel to Staples Center: Walk down to Figueroa Street: 1111 S. Figueroa Street

From hotel to Korea town: Walk down 7th to 7th St. Station. Board "pruple" line and get off at WILSHIRE/NORMANDIE Station.

From hotel to Little Tokyo: Walk down 7th until you hit Alamed St then take a left. Keep going down until you hit the Little Tokyo Square on your left hand side between 3rd and 4th.

From hotel to Chinatown: Board the Metro red line and then board the gold line and get off at Chinatown Station.
*The Mountain is open Wednesday - Saturday, from 6:00 pm to 2:00 am; the later you get there the better it gets, located at 473 Gin Ling Way.

From hotel to Hollywood: Board at 7th St. Station and get off at: Western for Thai Town & Little America; Vine for Hollywood walk of fame.

From hotel to Griffith Observatory: At 7th St. Station, you take red line towards Hollywood and get off at Vermont/Sunset Station. Walk down Vermont St/ Los Feliz @ Grififth park

SHOPPING:
From hotel to Fasion district: Walk on 7th and make a right on Flower St. Then you make a left when you hit 9th and walk until past Main St. *California Market Center

From hotel to 7+Fig: Walk down 7th to 7th St. Station: 725 S. Figuera St.

From hotel to Macy's Palace: Walk down 7th to 7th St. Station: 750 S. Figuera St. *bath and body works

DRINKS:
From hotel to Standard Rooftop Bar @ 550 S flower st.

From hotel to Boneventure hotel: 404 Figuera St. *rotating lounge near the top floor

Painting a picture.

2009-02-15T21:38:00.000-08:00

I see friendships (generally in my life) as painting a picture. It's a complicated picture with lots of lines and lots of colours.

I start off with by myself, a lone single stroke on the page of life. As my stroke continues, I encounter other lines and other colours. We paint a small image together. It's a delightful and enjoyable time. Each mark on this page marks a milestone in the moment of life we shared. Then there comes a point when we cannot paint together anymore. We must move on. There is much space left on the page that we must fill.
And so, we go our ways and continue the strokes of our own life. If it's meant to be, we'll meet again somewhere on the page. If not, it's just part of life. It's not really anyone's fault, that's the way it has to be. We all have our own ways to go in painting this picture. There are other lines and other colours we have to meet in order for our life to be complete.

Friends come and go no matter how much I want them to stay. They come and go even if they want to stay. I can't complain. They can't complain. The lives we live right now doesn't allow for this to be possible. We can't all live happily ever after with everyone--right now. But there will come a time and a place where we will meet again. We will be united after the picture is complete. We will smile at the picture we have created together.

I think I fell for the guy on youtube.

2009-02-15T00:37:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ng8k3TOow&feature=related
Gabe Bondoc :)
I think the way he acts is kinda cute. Oh and, amazing voice. Very talented guy who's very into what he's doing.

It wasn't the kind of day I had planned ... but it didn't turn out so bad. The Holiday is a great film. A nice pick-me-upper.

Since I can't really talk about my day cause it wasn't too grand--and the fact that I don't feel like decorating it up, I'll tell you what I think all guys should do.

Buy a bag of 5 cent candies (or chocolates?) and leave it in a girl's mailbox. Cole did that for Cory and I when we were kids... and we still love him for it to this day. He told us he'd put candies in our mailboxes, and he did. He even called to make sure we got them. That's the sweetest thing about a man--one who finds the simplest things that will touch a girl's heart and do it when she least expects it. I'm one of simple and sentiment. And I believe that that's how all girls really are ... even though some may appear to love nothing but money, diamonds, and clothes. We're not that hard to please.

Hold the rejection and failure please.

2009-02-13T16:18:00.000-08:00

I'm not one who can handle those two very well...

I'm totally weak when I get rejected or when I've failed at something. Especially if it's something I almost have no control over.

CuSO4, I will conquer you one day with my blood. My Fe will be so good that it'll drop so fast like a bomb. You won't even know what hit you.

I walked in the clinic feeling pretty good actually. Asides from the nibbling cold fingers I had, I felt good. I thought I looked pretty decent. It was one of my better looking days -- days where I don't feel like I look like crap. I felt so prepared too. I took my supplements the day before, and this morning AND I had a whole bottle of water. The two most important things. I walked to the reception and she told me I was a little early and told me to have a seat while I wait. It was 12:30pm and my appointment was 12:35pm. 5 mins early...no big. Uh, yes big. I had like 5 people skip ahead of me who had appointments after me. I finally walked up to her at 12:50 and asked when I can go in for my appointment. She gets my information and tells me that I'm 20 minutes late and that I would have to wait until 1:10 for the next open appointment. I couldn't believe her -- she forgot that I had came in early! I politely reminded her that I was here at 12:30 and she told me to sit down... She still didn't seem to recall but she schedules me in and tells me to have a seat by the door and wait for the nurse to call me.
When I finally got the nurse who was going to test my blood, I told her that I've failed many iron tests and hope I pass this one. But I was feeling pretty good about it...I mean I took my iron supplements! It HAS to help. She tells me she'll squeeze extra hard so we'll get extra good blood. Even extra good blood couldn't help me here. My iron level was 0.1 above the unhealthy rate(meaning the range starts at 11 and I had 11.1)...which is good. But not good enough to donate. What a terrible mess. And so, I left. As always, I leave with a teary eye (unless I got to donate...then I'd be smiling :). I don't know why, but I just do. There's something about not being able to donate, failing the iron test, and getting rejected that gets to me. I hold a green card to donate but my iron automatically makes it a red card. I've made too many appointments to count to donate blood and have only sucessfully donated twice. I am such a failure at donating blood -O-"

I felt even more emo after I see the bus go past me... so I bought myself a drumstick and some 5 cent candies :)

Trying to be true.

2009-02-12T21:17:00.000-08:00

So I haven't been true to this blog... I haven't post about my every day encounters. With my unofficial leave from facebook(which I decided to do after Aaron went ahead and deactivated it), I think more time shall be spent on reflecting on my day.

I've always written my blogs for so many different reasons. I've written it to please myself and to keep me sane. I've written it please others--I only want to be loved (haha I sound so lame). I've written because I want to record my life history. That's where I shall pick up again. To blog my life history--my encounters and my thoughts. Right here. On this blog.

With that being said. I've come across an amazing photo uploader. Google everything. Google mail. Google blog(blogspot) And now, Google photos. Oh not to mention, iGoogle homepage. It's kinda like an apple thing.. cept it's google with me.

This morning...
They walked in like any happy couple. They were a bit loud and a bit messy but I didn't think much about them until the police approach them. They didn't have any fare on them and they were travelling on the skytrain. The police checked my fare and flashed me a friendly smile. They were kicked off, but they seemed to have dealt with that fairly well. The lady was joking with the policeman and he just stared at her with a stone face as if she was crazy.

This afternoon...
I got of the skytrain and saw the man who stood there yelling to someone that the train was here. I walked over to the stairs but he left only a small amount of walking space around him. He was blocking the whole pathway with a numerous amount of fully packed garbage bags creating a sphere around his body. You would only guess that they were filled with bottles and cans to return for money. "WHERE ARE YOU??????!!!!!!" I looked around when I got to the bottom of the stairs to see who he might be talking to but no one looked like they knew him. Everyone just minded their own business and no one seem to even notice this man yelling and his cry to find someone he lost. As I was leaving the premise of the station, a women carrying a similar garbage bag who seemed distressed and whimpering, quickly made her way past me. That must've been who he was looking for...
I don't know why, but that whole scene disturbed me. I felt scared for the woman... I felt bad for them...I felt bad for the poor in general. There were so many thoughts going through my mind I couldn't concentrate on one.

Being poor, being homeless, and helping the weak have been such a big thing nowadays. We're "doing so much". Some more radical than others. There's a group of people from SFU (I believe it's sfu) who are spending a few nights down at the art gallery homeless to help fight homelessness. All the power to them. There are those who raise money for great organizations. Great cause. Failed fundraising idea. What justice is done by you going to a club--getting drunk, feeling or getting felt up by people, and having a good time with friends--to help those who are suffering? What happend to the good ol' traditional ways? What happened to giving because you wanted to even though you knew that you weren't going to get anything in return(material wise)? I refuse to help people fundraise through such events. "Here take our money. I hope you feel better because I had a good time raising the money for you by going to the club with my friends and didn't even think about you when I got pass the line of people I donated to."

It's a weird world don't you know it?
It’s a weird world and it won’t slow down
It’s a weird world no matter how you roll it

ps. dude, picasa is so amazing... it even incorporates google earth on it! So you can pinpoint on map where it was taken......oh my.

almost there.

2009-02-05T01:10:00.000-08:00

ANTHRO MAJOR:
SA 101
SA 150
SA201W
SA 255
SA 200 lvl any SA
SA 301
SA 356W
SA 402
upper A
upper A
~~upper S/A~~
upper S/A
upper S/A

GEO MINOR
~~geo 100~~
geo 111
~~geo 221/241~~
geo 251/253/255
upper geo
upper geo
upper geo
upper geo

High five baby :)

paradox of time

2009-02-05T01:02:00.000-08:00

"The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry,stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch too much TV, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less...

Remember to give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind."

George Carlin